Broken
by dilemmaed
Summary: Everyone's got a secret. Some are just... darker than others. Katherine Creswell is going into her 6th year at Hogwarts and she can feel that something is different. There was talk that Hogwarts was no longer safe, that it could no longer protect the students within. From the state, she finds herself drawn to the illusive and arrogant Draco Malfoy, who seemed shattered, broken.
1. Chapter One

I hold my father's hand as he sleeps a restless sleep. My mother is sitting the chair opposite me, pushing the hair out of his face. I look up at the ceiling and let up a sigh. I breathe in the sterile air of St. Mungo's; I hate this place. My dad is the only reason I don't complain. As painful as it is, I like seeing him, being with him.

Sixteen years ago, my father, William Creswell, was tortured by… Voldemort to let up information on where the Potters were hiding. He never told him where they were. Some say he suffered a fate worse than death. He can't do much, say much anymore. He doesn't remember much either. He went from being one of the most powerful wizards and aurors of all time to barely being able to remember, let alone utter, his own daughter's name.

My mum, Rosie Creswell was greatly affected by as we call it, 'The Incident'. She loves my father very much, meaning that she took it harder than anyone. Sometimes she seems okay, but others she's either practically mad or can't even get out of bed.

"Katherine, it's time to go." My mother says. I nod and give my dad's hand a squeeze before replying, "Yes mum." I pause and turn to look at my father one last time before leaving. "Bye Dad, I love you." I sigh and put my hand out for my mum to take. I prepare myself as she reaches for me.

I hold my breath as I gain the sensation of being pulled violently through a narrow tube. When the image of the kitchen takes place I allow myself to breathe. I resist the urge to retch and close my eyes for a moment. Apparating always makes me feel like I'm going to vomit.

I enter my room whilst pulling off my jumper. I glance at the open trunk sitting in the middle of my floor and decide that I should probably finish packing for tomorrow. Tomorrow, I go back to Hogwarts; tomorrow, I go home. I get to see my three best friends: Harry, Ron and Hermione. Things are so much different than when I met them on the Hogwarts Express back when we were eleven. It was simpler then. Now I'm entering my sixth year at Hogwarts and Voldemort has returned and people are going missing again, just like the last time.

As I put the last of my things into my trunk, I'm reminded of something that I forgot to do. Mum was in such a rush to get me home and out to the Burrow, that I forgot to say goodbye to one of my dearest friends, whom I never see at Hogwarts as much as I do over the summer: Neville Longbottom. Neville and I have always had a special sort of bond; he's the only one who understands what it's like to see my dad the way he is. Both of his parents are the way my dad is, as the Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange tortured them for information as well, but they never gave in.

Neville and I spend most of the summer together, trying to make the best out of the situation that we can. We've been friends all of our lives, since we've spent more time at St. Mungo's than at our own homes. It saddens me though, that we're not as close in school as we are outside of it. Neville is a rather shy boy, although not around me. I sigh and make a mental note to apologize when I see him.

I change out of my clothes and into a charcoal jumper and a pair of jeans. I look at myself in the mirror for a moment, flattening out my jumper. I run my hand through my dark brown hair as my mum calls me from downstairs, "Katherine, bring your trunk down!" She hollers. I smile as I struggle to drag my trunk down the narrow staircase. I'm going to the Burrow tonight, since my mother decided she wants to spend this September 1st with my dad, at St. Mungo's. It bothers me that I won't be able to say goodbye on the platform, but I can't do anything to stop her.

She wraps her arms around me and hugs me tight. I kiss her on the cheek, then she says, "Promise me you'll be safe." I smile and reply, "Of course, mum." She gives me a tight smile and hugs me again. "I love you so much." I nod. "I love you too." I take her hand and brace myself for what's to come. "I'll see you at Christmas." I say. She nods, tears filling her eyes. There's fear in them too, an emotion oh too common these days.

I stand walk into the fireplace and hold onto my trunk with one hand. I smile at my mum and clearly say, "The Burrow!" I see a burst of light and then I'm standing in the Weasleys' fireplace. I step out and into the kitchen, where I feel the warmth of their home take over me. Hermione catches my eye and I smile wide and wrap my arms around her tightly. "Katherine, I missed you so much." She says. "I missed you too, Hermione."

Hermione cringes slightly, as a particularly throaty voice comes out from behind her. "Katherine! 'Ow great it iz to zee you again!" I throw on a smile as the elegant figure of Fleur Delacour pushes Hermione out of the way to pull my in for an awkward hug, placing a kiss on my cheek. "Nice to see you too, Fleur!" I say politely. Ginny gave me word over holiday that Bill and Fleur were engaged to be married, much to hers, Hermione's and Mrs. Weasley's dismay. Although, it took me a little while to riddle it out, since Ginny never used her real name, only referring to her by Phlegm.

Mrs. Weasley gives me one of her famously enormous hugs before asking, "Katherine darling! How's Mum and Dad?" She asks, a warm smile plastered on her rosy face. "They're pretty much the same. Mum is Mum, you know. Both of them have days better than others." She nods, understandingly. "Well, yes. Send them my best won't you? I don't get out of the house as much anymore, but I'd love to sit down with your mother." I smile, "Of course."

Hermione grabs my hand and drags me upstairs into Ron's room, where Harry and Ron sit around a burning copy of The Daily Prophet on it. Harry immediately stands up and runs to me, "Kat." He pauses, practically falling into my arms. "It's good to see you." He says. "I missed you so much." I say. Harry and I have always been so close. Circumstance has brought us closer; we understand each other. I give Ron a big hug as well before sitting down next to them on the floor.

We all catch up, as letters have become less and less since Voldemort's been gaining followers and favor in the Ministry. "So Harry's quidditch captain this year; I'm surprised you didn't get the position Kat." Ron says. "Actually…" I pause to pull a pin out of my pocket and hand it to him. "We're co-captains." I say. He nods, "Congratulations Katherine." Hermione and Ron say at the same time.

"Are you trying out this year, Ron?" I ask. He takes a sip of pumpkin juice and nods, "I'm going out for keeper this year. I might actually have a shot. I've been practicing all summer out back." I smile. "He practices all summer and still manages to be absolute rubbish." Says a voice from behind me.

I turn around to see Fred and George, grinning. "Oh shut up." Ron says, hitting George in the legs with his pillow. I stand up and they both hug me, sandwiching me between the twins. "God, we missed you. Ron's so dull; I'm glad to have someone interesting around." I laugh as Ron hits Fred with the pillow this time. "Oy!" Fred says. "Anyway." George says, kicking Ron away, "Mum has asked us to gather you guys for supper."

We sit at the table and eat the meal Molly prepared for us, which is ten times better than anything I eat at home; Mum's not a very good cook, to be honest, although, she doesn't cook much anymore. Most of my meals consist of hospital food from St. Mungo's, as we spend most of the summer there, visiting my dad.

As much as I loved the meal, the conversation/lecture on how Hogwarts might not be as safe as it used to be really didn't strike my fancy. Hogwarts is more like home than my home is. I refuse to believe that it's no longer safe. As long as Dumbledore's still around, Hogwarts is still safe, protected.

We go up to bed early and honestly I'm quite glad; seeing my dad always tires me out. Hermione and I get ready to go to bed and head into Ginny's room, where she's already in bed, reading a letter dropped off to her earlier. I bet it's from Dean Thomas, since she's smiling ear to ear.

"How is your dad? Really?" Hermione whispers to me from our shared bed. I shrug, "Honestly, I don't know. Something's changed since last year, I can see it in his eyes." She sighs. "I'm sorry Katherine." I shake my head, "It is what it is." I let out a long breath. I'll be home soon; I'll be at Hogwarts. It's then when I close my eyes and allow sleep to overcome me.


	2. Chapter Two

I wake to the sound of Ron loudly stomping through the hallways, looking for something. "Can't you just be prepared for once in your life Ronald? You're going to make us all late!" Hermione nagged him. "I had more important things to do than pack this summer Hermione, so excuse me." Ron hollers. "Doing what exactly? Sitting on your ass eating pumpkin pasties? Unlike you, I got a head start on the year, studying for my N.E. ." I can practically see Ron rolling his eyes at her. They're always bickering, but the truth of the matter is, Hermione likes Ron, but being Ron, he's too oblivious to notice anything that doesn't have to do with his next meal. The yelling hasn't stopped, so I decide to get up. I peek my head out of the door and scream, "Stop fighting you two! Shut up!" I look down the hallway to see Harry. "I second that!" He says.

I put on the same clothes I had on last night because, honestly they're not really dirty and I'm going to change once I'm on the train anyway. I put on the bare minimum of makeup, just some foundation and some mascara, before going downstairs for some breakfast. I didn't eat much because I'm way too anxious to get back to school. Ron on the other hand, ate enough for the both of us in about seven minutes.

I put the few things I took out back into my trunk before lugging it down the stairs. We're all starting to rush now, since it's 10:40 am and the train leaves at 11:00 am sharp. I say my goodbyes to Bill and Phlegm, putting on my best smile as I continue to struggle with my overstuffed trunk. We each one by one step into the fireplace before clearly stating, "King's Cross Station." As I arrive at the station, Harry grabs my arm and pulls me out of the fireplace almost as quickly as I got there and good thing too, because Ginny appeared less than five seconds later. "Thanks." I say with a smile. "Anytime." He replies.

Once we all arrived, we hurry along with our trolleys through King's Cross to get to the barrier between platforms nine and ten. "C'mon now, train leaves in twelve minutes." Mr. Weasley shouts to us as we approach the barrier. Molly walks through first, followed closely by Ginny. Harry and I look at each other with a grin plastered on our faces. I run through first and quickly move to the side as Harry appears. I'll always be amazed by this place, Platform 9¾. The steam coming from the Hogwarts Express fills my lungs with familiarity.

We say our goodbyes to Molly, Arthur, Fred and George and then board the train each carrying a rucksack with clean robes. Ginny disappears as soon as she sees Dean, while Harry, Ron, Hermione and I find an empty compartment toward the middle of the train. Harry immediately locks the door and I furrow my eyebrows. "So what was Draco doing with that weird looking cabinet? And who were all those people. You see, it was a ceremony; an initiation." Hermione cuts him off before he can finish "Stop it Harry; I know where you're going with this." She says, shaking her head. "It's happened. He's one of them–."

This time, I cut him off, "Pardon me, but can someone explain what the bloody hell is going on?" It's silent for a moment before Hermione speaks up. "Harry is under the impression that Draco Malfoy is now a Death Eater." I laugh out loud before replying, "Bollocks!" Ron laughs a littles as well. "What's You-Know-Who want with a sod like Malfoy?" Ron says, still chuckling a bit. "Then what's he doing in Borgin and Burke's, browsing for furniture?" Harry says, raising his eyebrows at Ron. "It's a creepy shop; he's a creepy bloke." He replies, shrugging it off. "His father is a Death Eater; it only makes sense!" Harry says, starting to get angry. "Besides, Hermione saw it with her own eyes!" He continues. "I told you; I don't know what I saw!" She denies before going back to reading her book.

"I'm going to go get some air." Harry mutters before leaving the compartment. "What's caused the stick up his ass?" Ron says. Harry doesn't know what he's talking about. Malfoy may be a prat at times, but that doesn't make him a Death Eater. I shrug it off before stopping the trolley to get some sweets to hide in my room to eat throughout the year.

We eat some of my excess sweets and talk for awhile until there was a knock at the compartment door. For a minute I thought it was Harry, but I was completely mistaken when none other than Draco Malfoy was at the door, his blond hair unmistakable. His polished prefect badge gleams from the breast of his robes. "What do you want, Malfoy? Shouldn't you be out torturing first years?" Ron says as he opens the door. "Trust me Weasel, I don't want to be here any more than you want me to be here." He spits, carrying a look of superiority as his eyes shift around the compartment. Hermione glares at him with pure hatred.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not fond of Malfoy, but I don't think he's as bad as he lets on. As pretentious and assholic as he is, he's also considerably attractive. I would say one of, if not the most attractive boys in our year. "Anyway, the new professor, Professor Slughorn, has me delivering these invitations." He says, a bored and unamused look across his face. I recognize Slughorn's name, since Harry had told us about him and how he had gone with Dumbledore to convince him to rejoin the staff here at Hogwarts. He looks down at the first card and hands it to me, "Creswell, this one's yours." I take it from him without a word. "Granger." He says, tossing the next one to Hermione. "Here, I just washed my hands; I don't want to dirty them by touching you, Mudblood." He sneers. Ron goes to stand, but I grab his shoulder. Draco looks down and says, "This one's Potter's." He speaks his name as if it's poisonous, tossing it to Ron, who catches it. Before closing the compartment door, Draco's grey eyes meet mine, but then quickly flick away, leaving me questioning the sparkle I saw within them.

As we begin to exit the train, I look around for Harry one last time. "Harry still isn't back." I say. "He must already be on the platform." Ron says reassuringly, but for some reason I can't shake my worried feeling. He'll be alright; he's always alright. As we enter the gates, Filch searches through all of our belongings and ourselves uncomfortably with Secrecy Sensors.

We walk to the Great Hall and sit at the Gryffindor table near Dean and Ginny. Throughout the meal, Hermione sits, tapping her fork against the table while I stare at Ron, who's shoveling potatoes down his throat. After about twenty minutes of this, I hear the heavy door of the Great Hall open and the image of a white-blonde haired boy appears, Draco Malfoy, in its entrance. He flattens out his robes before walking in a strut to the Slytherin table and sitting down next to Pansy Parkinson and Goyle. Pansy's hands drape around him lazily, but doesn't look too interested in her.

By the time dessert is served, my worry begins to grow. Where is he? Ron eats Jello spoon after spoon. Hermione hits him with her book and says, "Will you stop eating? Your best friend is missing!" He rolls his eyes before replying, "Oi, turn around, you lunatic." Ron notions his head toward the doorway where Harry is standing with a towel in his hand, covered in blood.

"He's covered in blood again. Why is it that he's always covered in blood?" Ginny asks. "It looks like it's his own this time." I say as he approaches the table. Harry sits down next to me and everyone is staring at him. "What?" He asks, as if we don't see the bloody towel he's holding to his nose. "Harry, what happened to your face?" I ask, wiping blood off of his cheek. "It's nothing. It's a long story." He dismisses me.

I shrug it off as Dumbledore starts his yearly opening speech, but from the expression on his face, I could tell this year it was going to be different. "Our caretaker, Mr. Filch has asked me to put a blanket ban on all joke items from a shop called Weasley Wizard's Wheezes." He gestures to Filch as Ron huffs, rolling his eyes as he shoves another bite of gateau into his mouth. "Also, I would like to take this moment to welcome a new member of our staff this year, Professor Slughorn–" Slughorn stands up, his belly pressing against the table, his bald head smiling profusely. "Who has agreed to resume his old post of Potions master." Dumbledore says, a kind look on his face.

Whispers spread throughout the hall, "Potions?" Ron and Hermione say in unison, turning their heads to look at Harry at the same moment. "But you said–" Ron's statement is interrupted by Dumbledore, "Professor Snape, meanwhile, will be taking over as position of Defense against the Dark Arts teacher." With that, I almost choked on my pumpkin juice, my eyes bulging out of my head. "No!" Harry yelled, not caring who around us heard him. "But Harry, you said that Slughorn would be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts!" I said, a look of disbelief still plastered on my face. "I thought he was!" He shouts, burying his head in his hands. "This is just great! Snape finally got what he wanted!" Ron says, shaking his head.

Harry looks up from his hands, smiling wickedly as if he had been imperiused, "There's one good thing about this mess." He pauses smacking his lips together before finishing his statement. "Snape'll be gone by the end of the year." Hermione furrows her eyebrows, giving Harry a rather confused look. "How do you figure that?" She asks. Harry's vengeful smile returns, almost looking as if he was holding back an evil laugh. "That job's jinxed. No one's lasted more than a year… Quirrell actually died doing it… Personally, I'm going to keep my fingers crossed for another death." I smack him almost too hard with my arm, "Harry!" He shrugs, grinning into his bowl of pudding as Dumbledore speaks once more, his face sobering as the silence returns.

"As you all know, you were searched upon your arrival here tonight and you have the right to know why." He hesitates for a moment before continuing. "Once, there was young man, who, like you, sat in this very hall, walked this castle's corridors, sat under its roof. He seemed to all the world, a student like any other. His name: Tom Riddle." Immediately, there were whispers throughout the Great Hall. Harry and I lock eyes for a moment, holding the same look, worry.

"Today, of course, he known all over the world, by another name. Which is why, as I stand looking out upon you all tonight, I am reminded by a sobering fact. Every day, every hour, this very minute perhaps, dark forces attempt to penetrate this castle's walls. Though, in the end, their greatest weapon, is you. Just something to think about." He pauses. "Now off to bed!" Dumbledore says, clapping his hands together.

We all get up and proceed out of the Great Hall and towards the common room. "That was cheerful." Ron says, shaking his head. "Are you going to tell us what happened to your nose now, Harry?" Hermione asks, to which Harry shakes his head and replies, "It's not important; don't worry about it." I look at her and shrug. He's not going to tell us no matter what we and how many times we ask him, so we might as well quit while we're ahead.

As we approach the Fat Lady, Ron states the password to her clearly, "Abstinence." The portrait opens into the common room, which is already filled with Gryffindors. "Now I'll tell you." Harry says, pulling us into the corner. He proceeded to tell us how he had used the cloak to spy on Malfoy on the train to see if he could find out anything and how Malfoy had discovered him, petrifying him and breaking his nose. "Do you believe me, now?" he asks, his eyes wide. "Him breaking your nose hardly constitutes as Death Eater behavior, although it does explain all the mimicking about noses coming from him during the feast." Ron says, shrugging. This seemed to annoy Harry, but he let it go, suggesting that we go to bed, as we have a long day tomorrow. I give Harry and Ron both tight hugs before turning the corridor to go into bed.

Hermione and I enter our room, which already has our belongings in it. I take out my blanket from home and lay it on my bed on top of the red and gold comforter. I change out of my robes, layer by layer, and into my pajamas. I then take off my makeup before getting into bed.

I'm home, but it doesn't feel the same anymore. It feels colder, emptier. "It's going to be different this year, isn't it?" I ask Hermione. "I'm afraid so." She replies. I sigh, "I hoped that everyone would be wrong, saying that Hogwarts was no longer safe, but I'm starting to believe it." She bites her lip before saying, "We'll be okay Kat. We always are."

We say goodnight to each other before Hermione says, "Nox." It eradicates the remaining light in the room, leaving us in complete darkness. I close my eyes with the thought in my mind of whether or not we were safe here, but are we really safe anywhere anymore?


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

I wake to the brightness of the room, which is protruding through the open curtains. Hermione is in the bathroom brushing her teeth, already completely dressed. I force myself up and change slowly into my robes. Once Hermione is out of the bathroom, I fix my hair so that it's slight waves aren't as frizzy and brush my teeth. I put on my makeup as quickly as I can, since Hermione is waiting for me, whilst reading her Charms textbook.

We walk downstairs into the common room, where Ron and Harry are sitting on the couch waiting for us. "C'mon I'm starving." Harry says, rushing out the door and into the corridor. "I'm going to go to the bathroom; I'll meet you guys in the Great Hall." They all nod and proceed toward the Hall as I walk towards the second floor bathroom.

When I walk out of the bathroom, I turn the corridor and hit directly into someone. Next thing I know, I'm flat on my ass and can feel someone looking down at me. I look up to see the piercing grey eyes of Draco Malfoy staring at me. "So–" He begins to grumble, but then stops himself, as if he realized at that second who he was talking to. "Watch where you're walking, Creswell."

"No, I'm fine. I can get up by myself. No need to help me." I say rolling my eyes at him. I stand up and brush the dirt off of my skirt as he continues to stare at me blankly. "Always the gentleman, Malfoy." I add. He keeps his hard look, but bites his lip as if he has something to say. "Are you going to say something or are you just wasting my time?" I ask. He just rolls his eyes and replies, "Not to you."

He walks away to leave me standing in the corridor alone. Did Draco Malfoy just almost apologize to me? He couldn't have; that's impossible. Maybe he just didn't realize that it was me. 't hates me and he has since the day he met me. Why do I even care? I dismiss the thought and proceed to walk to the Great Hall for breakfast.

I sit down next to Ron and he hands me my timetable for this year. "We have four classes with Slytherin this year." He groans. "Well, Harry and I only have three." He adds. "Which ones?" I ask. "History of magic, defense against the dark arts, charms and you and Hermione have potions with them." He replies. I look down at the timetable in front of me to see what we have first, which is history of magic. "Professor Binns' voice this early in the morning will not be easy." I say.

When we arrive in the classroom, Binns is arranging our seats into tables of four. "Pansy Parkinson." He says, pointing to a table to his left. "Ronald Weasley." As Ron walks up to the table, he shoots us a glare as we all snicker at him. I look at him and mouth, 'good luck' to which he rolls his eyes. Professor Binns looks down at his sheet of paper once more and says, "Katherine Creswell." Harry gives me a shove on the back and I elbow him in the gut. He gives me a big sarcastic smile as I sit down next to Ron.

As I glance at the empty seat to my right, Professor Binns speaks again, "Draco Malfoy." I grimace and force myself to look at Ron. He sniggers at me, mimicking my words, "Good luck." I sigh and reply, "This is bollocks." Draco swaggers across the classroom before swiftly sliding into the chair. "Long time no see, Creswell." He says with a smirk playing across his lips. "Sod off, Malfoy." I say. "Well, I guess you won't be needing this then." He says, notioning to under the desk, where he's holding my wand in his slender pale fingers. "Where the bloody hell did you get that?" I ask, snatching the wand back from him, causing him to gain a satisfactory look on his face. "I found it in the corridor after you crashed into me and fell on your ass." He laughs. I shoot him a look to which he completely shuts up.

Professor Binns begins to teach, causing the majority of the class to fall asleep due to his overly monotone voice. I try my best to take notes as he goes on about the house elf trade. I look over at Hermione who's taking notes tentatively as Harry is trying to copy off of her from the table behind her. I'm not as great a student as Hermione is, but I try my hardest. I'm quite smart though; I got all Outstandings on my O. last year with the exception of Divination, which I only got an Acceptable, not that I cared, allowing me to take whichever N.E. I wanted.

Ron keeps falling asleep and leaning all over my parchment, so every time he does, I smack him on the shoulder, causing him to wake with a start. Malfoy seems to think it's quite funny, as he sniggers into his notes. When Binns finishes speaking, he claps his hands together, waking up everyone who fell asleep. "Alright, tomorrow, you're going to be paired with the person next to you of the opposite house to do a twenty scroll report and oral presentation on the house elf trade using books from the library as well as the notes you've taken today. It's due the day before Christmas holiday." He says.

I let out an audible sigh as so does Ron. It's going to be a hell of a lot harder to ignore Draco now that we have to work together. "I hope you took good notes today, partner." He says, with an arrogant wink. I gather my things and leave the room, grumbling to myself. "Well, this is just fantastic." Ron says. "The assignment itself is already bollocks. To make matters worse, I have Pansy Parkinson as my partner. I'm on my own." Harry puts a hand on his back and says, "Relax, you could be Kat. She's partners with Malfoy." He pauses for a moment and turns to me. "My condolences." He says, causing me to roll my eyes. "I got lucky, I guess. I have Millicent Bulstrode. She may not help much, but she's better than what you lot have." He says. "I've got Blaise. Not that it matters anyway; I'll be doing it by myself." Hermione says.

The rest of the day was pretty much a blur until potions. As Hermione and I walked into the classroom, I noticed how different it looked from when Professor Snape had the position. The room is a lot larger now, and seemingly less cluttered. As we find out places, my eye catches on Draco, who is standing there, not doing anything particularly interesting, but he seems to be staring into space. I wouldn't say he's staring at me, but he's almost gazing past me. He stands next to Theodore Nott, another one of the few Slytherins taking NEWT level potions this year. I'm almost surprised he's taking as many NEWT level classes as he is; he makes himself seem rather unintelligent.

Professor Slughorn is a rather stout man, whom, by the look of him, doesn't seem like a particularly talented potioneer, let alone a wizard. I try to push that aside as I approach him. "Ah, Ms. Creswell. I was pleased to find out I would be teaching you. I absolutely adored your mother. Did you get my invitation?", he says with a big smile shaking my hand vigorously. "Yes professor, I was delighted to receive it." I say with a slight smile. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Malfoy sneering slightly, as he must not have received an invitation despite having to distribute them.

We all gather around a table where Slughorn has placed out six cauldrons with various potions in them. He talks about each one individually; every question asked is answered by Hermione. I knew most of the answers as well, but I don't want to appear as a know-it-all to Slughorn on the first day. Potions, although not my favorite subject, was one I generally excelled in.

As Slughorn was beginning to talk about the sixth potion, Harry and Ron stagger through the door, neither looking particularly amused to be here. "Harry ma boy! I was beginning to worry that you weren't coming!" He pauses and turns to Ron. "And you brought a friend, I see." He looks Ron up and down. "Ron Weasley, Sir. I'm dead awful at potions, a menace actually–." Slughorn cuts him off before he could finish. "Nonsense! Take out your books." He says. "You see Professor, I haven't gotten my book yet, nor has Ron." Harry says. "Not a problem. Go get them from the cupboard." They both nod and walk over to the back of the room to go and retrieve their textbooks.

Why are they here? I look at Hermione with a confused look and she shrugs and mouths, 'no idea'. Harry and Ron return and stand behind me, waiting for Slughorn to continue the lesson. "Would anyone like to tell me what this potion is?" He says, removing the top off of a medium sized cauldron. Hermione's hand shoots up immediately. Although I don't raise my hand, I can tell right away what the potion is. The scent makes my heart flutter. "Amortentia, sir; the most powerful love potion in the world. It's rumored to smell different to each person according to what attracts them." She pauses and inhales. "For example, I smell freshly mown grass, parchment, spearmint, and toothpaste." Hermione breathes out.

I take in the scent once more, recognizing immediately what they are: peppermint, fresh linen, vanilla, a crackling fire and cinnamon. "Amortentia doesn't create actual love; that would be impossible, but it does create powerful infatuation or obsession. For that reason, it is probably the most dangerous potion in this room." Slughorn says, covering the cauldron, causing the smell to dissipate. "Alright go to your cauldrons." He says with a clap of his hands.

"But sir, you haven't told us what's in that one." Katie Bell says from behind me, pointing to a small, teardrop shaped phial. Slughorn unscrews the potion from where it has been suspended and holds it up. "Ah yes. What you see before you is a curious little potion known as Felix Felicis. More commonly referred to as–." He's cut off by Hermione. "Liquid Luck." He nods. "Yes, Ms. Granger, Liquid Luck. Desperately tricky to make; disastrous if you get it wrong. One sip and you will find that all of your endeavors succeed."

He pauses before continuing. "Now this is what I offer each of you today. One tiny vial of Liquid Luck for the student whom in the hour that remains, manages to brew an acceptable draught of Living Death. The recipe can be found on page ten of your books. Good luck to you all." He says, ushering us all to our cauldrons. I see Malfoy's face light up, looking determined to retrieve the reward. It's almost a scary look on him. I want that potion, but I know Hermione will probably be the one to get it.

I look at the recipe and get ready to begin.

1\. Add the Infusion of Wormwood. 2. Add the powdered root of asphodel. 3. Stir twice clockwise. 4. Add the sloth brain. 5. Add the Sopophorous bean's juice. 6. Stir seven times anti-clockwise.

I complete the first four steps with ease, but am absolutely bewildered with the fifth step, though it seems everyone else is as well. I try to cut the bean, but it keeps slipping away. Even Hermione seems not to be able to cut it, her hair rising to twice its size. I glance over at Harry, who's always been beyond horrible at potions. He's managed to somehow, add the bean juice into the potion. I hold the bean with my left hand and move to stab it with the knife with right, when the bean slips and I stab my hand all the way through, causing blood to gush out.

I notion Slughorn over by raising my hand. "Professor?" I say. "Yes Ms. Cre–. Oh dear, why we should probably get you to Madam Pomfrey." He says. I nod as he turns around and puts his hand on Malfoy's arm. "Mr. Malfoy, could you be so kind as to escort Ms. Creswell to the hospital wing?" Draco turns around to see my hand, bleeding rapidly, and nods without a second thought, but adds in a deep sigh. He looked caught for a moment between his desire for the prize of Liquid Luck and his need to impress the new Potions professor, who didn't seem to be taking a liking to him. I roll my eyes; of course, out of everyone in the entire classroom, he had to pick him. I don't even need an escort.

As we walk out, Malfoy hands me a rag, which I wrap around my hand to try and stop the bleeding. "Thanks." I say in a monotone voice. "You really are clumsy aren't you?" He says smugly. "What's it to you ?" I snap back. "It's not." He replies. We don't say anything else on the walk to the hospital wing. It's strange that he didn't oppose Professor Slughorn's request to escort me. He seems different this year. His cheeks are sunken in a bit, but not so much that he's less attractive. His body seems as if it's shrunk, although it could be the way he's standing. The way he carries himself is different, as if there's shame among all the pride in being a Malfoy, since Lucius has been incarcerated only a few months ago.

When we walk into the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey rushes over immediately. "Oh Katherine dear, what happened this time?" She says, genuinely concerned by the amount of blood on the rag. Draco's snickering in the corner, maybe he hasn't changed after all. I glare at him as I speak, "I was brewing a Draught of Living Death and I sliced my hand open by accident." She nods as she unwraps my hand, revealing the long, deep slice across my palm. She cleans the blood off with some cotton before taking out a bottle of dittany. As she squeezes the dropper onto my open hand, I bite back a small yelp. No matter how many times I've used dittany, the initial pain never lessens. I watch fascinated, as the skin and tissue on my hand regenerates before my eyes.

On the walk back to the dungeons, I start the inevitably awkward conversation. "You do know we're actually going to have to work together on this presentation, Malfoy?" I ask, looking down at my hand, where the cut now looks days old, but still aches a bit. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Draco nodding, "I know. I'm not stupid." He says in almost an offended tone. "I didn't say that, but, um, we should probably get started on it." I say, trying to make some sort of an effort to be civil. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see his face scrunch up a bit. "All right." He pauses, contemplating his next statement. "We'll meet tomorrow after classes in southwest corner of the library." He says. I wasn't expecting him to offer to work so soon, but I nod anyway.

As we enter the classroom, Draco mutters something to me, "I'll see you tomorrow, Creswell. Merlin help us if every conversation we have is this bloody awkward." I look to see a smirk plastered on his face as he returns to Crabbe and Goyle.

We gather around Slughorn once again at the end of the class, where Harry, who got exceeds expectations on his potions OWL, is retrieving the teardrop shaped vial of Liquid Luck. Hermione looks absolutely furious as he grins widely as he graciously accepts the reward. "Use it well." Slughorn said to him. Harry nods, but I suspect he's not really listening.

He slips the vial into his pocket as we follow him out of the classroom. "Harry what the hell?" Hermione says with a rather angry look on her face. Her cheeks are flustered, carrying a shade of pink. "What did I do?" He asks, although I think he already knows. "You didn't even have high enough marks to get into potions in the first place? How are you all of a sudden so fantastic at it?" She says, her jaw clenched. He shrugs. "Maybe it's Slughorn. He's a much better teacher than Snape." Hermione rolls her eyes at the thought. "Maybe you're just not as good as you think you are, Mione." Ron says. She shoots him a glare before storming away from us. "Really guys?" I ask to which they shrug.

When we go back to the common room, we sit around the hearth on the floor. Hermione has yet to join us, but I suspect she's either in our room or the library. Harry has been reading his potions textbook since we got back, which seems to have more information than just the standard one. I sit next to him and try to sneak a peek but, to my dismay, he turns the book out of my vision. "Why can't I see it?" I ask, trying to grab it from him. "Because it's mine." He says, laughing.

"How's your hand?" He says, taking my left hand, holding it palm side up to look at the slice. "It's fine." I say, as he runs his finger over it, causing me to shudder. "I said it's fine; I didn't say touch it." I nag him. He shrugs and utters a quiet 'sorry'. "How was Malfoy?" He says with a smirk. I elbow him in the gut before saying, "Well Harry, first, he showed me his dark mark and then he asked me to help him practice the cruciatus curse on the third years." He rolls his eyes at me before returning to his book. "I'm serious, Katherine." He mutters under his breath. "Be careful."

I stare into the fire, not being able to focus on the book I checked out of the library. My mind drifts all over the place, subject to subject, but never landing on one in particular. I sigh, leaning my head on Harry's shoulder. This is going to be a long year; I can feel it.


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

 **A/N: For updates on this story as well as upcoming works or even if anyone wants to contact me in any way, I'm always available on my tumblr: Dilemma-ed (followbacks from dil-emma-ed). Feel free to leave reviews:) -Em**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or his world, as it belongs to the wonderfully talented JK Rowling**

"All right." I say, forcing myself off of the couch in the common room. "I have to go meet Malfoy to work on our presentation." I groan. Ron makes a disgusted face. "Why are you starting it so soon?" He asks. "Because Ronald, the sooner we start, the sooner we finish." I quip. He rolls his eyes. "Well, I'm delaying working with Pugsley Parkinson until the last possible minute." He retorts as I let out a laugh.

I grab my books and head towards the door. "I'll be back soon." I say, as the door is shutting behind me. My walk to the library is slow, as I'm delaying the study session as long as possible. I turn the corridor and instantly gain a smile on my face. "Neville!" I say, wrapping my arms around him. He smiles at me, "Oy! You didn't say goodbye to me!" He says in a sarcastic tone. "I'm so sorry; you know how Mum gets. She rushed me out and I didn't realize until after I was already gone." I say, putting on my best pleading face. "Fine, I forgive you, but only if you give me one of the chocolate frogs you've been hiding in your trunk." He says, laughing. "All right. I'll give you one later, but right now I've got to go."

I walk into the library and smile at Madam Pince as I pass her. I reach the southwest corner, where I'm supposed be meeting Malfoy any minute. As I sit down, I'm starting to realize why he picked this spot; it's completely empty, so that he wouldn't be seen with the likes of me. I'm absolutely dreading this; I can already see me working by myself as he levitates books. I open books and begin to research the topic, taking out a fresh roll of parchment to take notes on.

"All right, let's get this over with." A voice says from behind me. I turn around to see Malfoy, pulling his materials out of his rucksack. He's dressed in a long sleeved dark grey shirt, that looks as if it was made for him, and a simple pair of jeans. It was strange seeing him dressed so relaxed. He sits down next to me and takes out a quill.

We worked together, him reading the material out to me as I took down short-handed notes, which we'll later use to make an outline. He's surprisingly easier to work with than I thought. He's even come up with a few ideas on how we should organize the information. "I'm surprised, Malfoy." I say. He furrowed his eyebrows, "Surprised about what?" He asks, looking hopelessly confused. "You can't get offended." I point at him. He rolls his eyes and nods slightly. "I'm surprised that you're actually good at this, helping." I say.

He raises his eyebrows, giving me a look I can't quite place. "You do know I'm intelligent and capable right?" He asks, looking quite serious. I shrug. "I don't know; you're friends with Crabbe and Goyle and they're not exactly smart." He nods in agreement as the look on his face fades away. "Fair enough, Creswell." He says.

We keep working for what feels like hours, but we also talk here and there. "Are you trying out for quidditch this year, Creswell?" He says, as I look up from the parchment to see his blue-grey eyes looking at me. "Of course. I'm actually co-captain this year." He nods. He doesn't ask who the other captain is because he probably already knows it's Harry. "Are you trying out this year, Malfoy?" I add. He looks down at the book in front of him and shakes his head. "No." He pauses. "I've got other things to do this year." As confused as I am, I don't question him. Although he isn't the best seeker, Malfoy had always seemed to enjoy quidditch.

After a while, we leave the library and walk down the empty corridor side by side. It's later than I intended to leave, but we got the rest of our homework done as well. He looks down at the floor before speaking, "You know, Katherine, you're not such a bad partner." He called me by my first name. He's never done that before; I've always been Creswell, never Katherine. I give him a weak smile, before replying, "You're not so bad yourself, Malfoy." He gives me a smile, but it's different from the ones I've seen in the past. It looks softer, kinder than it has before. I wish this could be the smile on his face all of the time. It makes him look handsome, not that he wasn't always handsome. I think he notices I'm staring because his smile fades quickly.

When we reach the staircase, we part ways, him going down, me going up. "This is where I leave you." I say, as I begin to walk up the stairs. "Goodnight Katherine." He calls up to me. I stand in shock for a moment in hearing my first name slip through his lips. "Goodnight Draco." I reply as I turn around to see him disappear into the corridor below.

As I walked, I thought about how maybe I was right and Harry was wrong. Maybe he wasn't as bad as everyone made him out to be. He seems pleasant enough when we're alone. I know he's still an ass most of the time and he's prejudice toward muggleborns squibs and practically everyone, but there's something about him, something seems… familiar, but I can't put my finger on it. I don't know how to feel about him anymore.

"Abstinence." I say to the Fat Lady, who looks quite angry that I interrupted her song. "Make it quick." She says, letting me through the door. I'm greeted by three pairs of eyes staring at me from the sofa. "Katherine, where were you at dinner?" Hermione says, her eyes deep with worry. "Calm down Hermione. I was in the library; I just lost track of time. Nothing happened, don't worry." I say, as she releases a deep breath. I look over to Harry who doesn't seem as convinced, even though it's true. "You sure about that?" He asks, raising his eyebrows at me. I sit down onto the sofa next to Ron and look at Harry. "Yes Harry, He asked me if I wanted to join the cause and then I had sex with Malfoy." I say sarcastically, but he doesn't seem to find it as amusing as Ron.

"I'm just making sure Kat. The last thing I need is you fraternizing with a Death Eater right now." He says as I roll my eyes. "I'm telling you; he isn't a Death Eater. There's no way." I reply. "Whatever." He says, returning to the book to which he's practically attached to. I managed to catch a glimpse of it the other day; it's covered in handwritten notes, tricks and tips that aren't in the real edition of the textbook.

"I'd like to know whose that book was." I say to him, pointing to the textbook. He looks up and shrugs. "No one's." I shake my head. "Give it here." I say, causing him to stand up. "No." He says, shaking his head, walking to the other side of the room, away from me. "No?" I repeat, standing up and following him. "Did you really just tell me no?" I try to move closer to him, but he keeps backing up. "The binding is fragile." He says to which I raise my eyebrows at him. I let out a noise of disbelief.

Hermione looks up from the book she's reading and repeats, "The binding is fragile?" Her eyebrows are furrowed and she give Harry a look as to say, 'what a load of bollocks'. "Give it here." I say again, hoping this time he'd hand it over. Harry rarely withheld things from me; we told each other practically everything. He shakes his head and puts the book behind his back. Ginny sneaks behind him without his notice grabs it. He runs to chase after her, but she's already opened the book to read the name. "Who's the Half-Blood Prince?" She says, looking him dead in the eyes. "The what?" Hermione and I say in unison. "That's what it says here; 'this book is property of the Half-Blood Prince'." Ginny says, as she tosses the book back to Harry. "I don't know." He says, shrugging. Half-Blood Prince? Who the bloody hell was the Half-Blood Prince?

Yesterday, Malfoy was missing from classes as well as meals. I felt worried almost and I didn't know why. I've never cared about him before and he certainly doesn't care about me, but for some reason or another, the worry is nagging me. It's not like we're friends or really even talk.

As we head to history of magic today, I'm almost walking too fast. I know I shouldn't care, but I want to know if he's here. "Merlin, slow down Katherine." Harry says, struggling to keep up with me. "Sorry." I say, but don't slow myself. "Seriously, is there something wrong?" Hermione asks. I shake my head and reply, "No, why?" She speeds up to stand next to me. "You just seem out of sorts today." She says. "I'm fine, never better actually." I say with a smile as we enter the classroom.

I slow down as I see a flicker of the unmistakable platinum blonde hair of Draco Malfoy. I sit down next to him just as Ron catches up with me. "You're as bad as Hermione, running to get to the a class, let alone this one." He says, elbowing me. "Am not!" I argue, but it probably seems that way to him. I'd rather him think that I'm turning into Hermione than looking for Malfoy.

My eyes land on the blond-haired boy as I'm reaching for my quill. He looks pale, paler than usual, I mean; he looks almost sickly. He looks at me; his eyes look tired, dark bags circle his blue-grey irises. "Where were you yesterday?" I ask, almost immediately regretting it. "Why do you care?" He asks, trying to sound snarky, but instead sounds flat and miserable. "I don't I just wanted to see if you wanted to work on the presentation and you weren't here." He shrugs. "Oh." He breathes out.

He doesn't say anything to me other than he's not really up to working on the presentation today, which, by the look of him, seems a bit obvious. He doesn't smile, laugh, or even snicker as Ron fell asleep today. I could see there was something missing; something different about him. I could see it in his eyes, which lacked their usual sparkle.

The rest of the day I couldn't get him off of my mind and I didn't know why. I wanted to know what was wrong and I wanted to comfort him. I wanted him to smile again, the beautiful smile, not his trademark smirk. I don't what to think or what to do. I couldn't talk to anyone about it; they'd think I'm mad. I try to convince myself that is just Malfoy and that nothing was different. That there was no need to care, no need for infatuation. He was just Malfoy; the boy who hated me, hated my friends. The boy that I paid no mind to all these years. He didn't care and neither do I.

 **Draco's POV**

I watch Hogwarts disappear as the train pulls away from the station. Last night, I had received a letter from my mother that I was to be on the 8:00 am train and I was not to be seen. She stated that it was urgent and assured that she'd be on Platform 9¾ when I arrived. I hold the letter in my hand, reading it over and over. I wondered to myself whether I had missed something in it, since the letter had held an undertone of sadness.

When the train reaches its destination, I wait for the few people in the other compartments to exit before I do, following my mother's instructions not to be seen. When I do, I see my mother, dressed in all black, from her long coat to her shoes. Her expression combined with her ensemble reminded me of a funeral. "Hello Mum." I say, giving her a quick embrace and a kiss on the cheek. My family isn't exactly one for affection. "Hello Draco." She says, attempting to give me a weak smile, but it fades quicker than it appeared.

"We must go before anyone sees us." She whispers, looking around, scared. It was then that I realize that this is no social visit. A pit begins to form in my stomach, causing me to grind my teeth. I struggle to keep up with her as she walks to the fireplace. She stands there, holding a pot of floo powder out for me. I take a handful as I step in, my heart pounding already. "Malfoy Manor." I say clearly. Before I know it, I'm engulfed in the emerald green flames of the floo network.

As my family home takes shape around me, I spot my Aunt Bella, who's grinning widely, which is never a good thing. I step out the fireplace and approach her. She gives me a half-hug before stating, "How are you Draco?" I struggle to keep eye contact as I answer her. "I'm all right." I lie, but of course I couldn't tell her the truth. I take a breath before I continue speaking. "How are you Aunt Bella?" I ask. "Never better." She says, a witchy smile plagued across her face. Her eyes flick down to my left arm, which was dangling aimlessly at my side.

I sit alone on the sofa in the parlour and stare into the fire, wondering what I was doing here. My task wasn't here; it was at Hogwarts. I wondered what they wanted from me, what He wanted from me. My mother paces around the room, her heels clicking rhythmically with each step. With every click, I become instinctively more nervous. She only ever paces when she's upset. No one says a word for a long time, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

My mind drifts to Katherine, to last night. I don't think I've ever had the pleasure spend that much time alone with her. It was almost nice when it wasn't awkward. She probably hates me for all of the things I've said and done to her and her friends all these years. As much as I've tried to, I can't hate her; she's too kind, too pure. This world will destroy her kindness; it'll turn her into a hollow figure of who she was. She's by no means weak, but her pure nature has no place in this war. It makes me want to protect her, but I can't even protect myself. I shouldn't care about her, but I do. I always have. I care more than I care to ever admit, especially not to her. I could never because of who I am, who my family is. I could never be with her. I could be what she wants, what she needs. It's all too complicated.

My family, although respectable, carry a great burden, as do I. My father chose to become a deatheater, to follow the Dark Lord. Unlike my mother, who had no choice but to because of whom she had fallen in love with. My father has some unpaid debts to the Dark Lord, but due to his recent incarceration, those debts have fallen onto me. I have no choice, but to follow him, to obey him. He threatened to kill my mother if I don't comply with his orders.

"Draco?" My mother asks, almost pleads. "Yes mother?" I reply, fearful of what her answer may be. "The Dark Lord wishes to speak to you." She says, her jaw clenched. I stand up and she grabs me by the hand, bringing me into the dining room. As she lead me, I caught a glimpse of Aunt Bella, whose grin was as vile as ever. I swallow hard as my mother speaks, "He should be here any moment, just wait in here. He wishes to speak to you alone." She quivers, tears beginning to form in her eyes.

I begin to realize why I'm here. I clench my left fist, forcing myself to take a staggered breath. I maintain a hard look, trying not to expose the fear I'm feeling on the inside. My mother kisses me on the cheek, embracing me for a moment before leaving the room without saying anything further. Today, the choices made for me become permanent. Any hope I had of free will or of escape disappear as a cloaked figure appears on the other side of the room.

"Hello Draco." The Dark Lord hissed with venomous voice. His red eyes meet my terror-filled ones, examining me. "Hello, my Lord." I state firmly, trying not to show the fear in my voice. "You might have already figured out why I'm here, as I know you're a very intelligent boy." He pauses, beginning to approach me. "It only seems fit that if you are going to complete the task at hand, then you need to become proper follower of mine. Today, you are to become a member; you are to going to gain your mark." He gives me a rather sly and evil smile as he extends his hand. "So if you will Draco, give me your arm." His snakelike voice says.

I stand, frozen as a statue in front of the Dark Lord. There's no way out once you have the mark upon your skin. I could never be respected, only feared. No one ever asked me what I wanted; it had been chosen before I was born. I could never have the life I wanted, the life I craved. A peaceful life, free from this messy world. Once the mark is on my skin, there's no going back, there's no returning to what I was.

"Your arm, Draco." The Dark Lord said more sternly, taking my quaking arm and pulling up my sleeve. His hand is as cold as ice, lacking the warmth a person usually has. I can hear my heart in my ears telling me not to do this, but I can't help it. It's telling me to leave, to escape this place and instead be with Katherine. I take a long breath inward close my eyes as the Dark Lord draws his wand.

He whispers something I couldn't hear over the sound of my heart and the pounding in my head. The burning starts, as if someone had stuck a hot iron on my arm. I scream out painfully, falling to my knees as it gets stronger. It was unlike any other pain I had felt before; it was excruciating, relentless. I try to pull away, but by that point, it's useless; the mark was branded on my skin. As a tear slips down my cheek, the Dark Lord disapparates, leaving me on the floor alone.

I bring myself to stand up, wiping the tears from my eyes with my right sleeve. I feel a lump rise in my throat, but I bit my lip to keep myself from crying anymore. I walk into the parlour, past my mother, who grimaces at me, unable to utter a word. There's nothing to say. I try to walk past Aunt Bella, but she pulls me over to her, pulling my burning left arm up for her to examine. She has a satisfied look on her face as she does, licking her lips. She traces it with her long fingernails, causing me to shudder and pull my arm back from her.

I force myself up the staircase and into my room, locking the door with a swift flick of my wand, "Colloportus." I mutter. I slide down my wall, letting myself break down, crying. I didn't ask for this, to be this. Katherine would never see a lover, friend, or even a person if she saw the brand displayed on my forearm. This mark told everything about what my life was to be now. It made every choice, every decision including who I could love, who I could be with.

I spend my whole life so far trying to make my father happy, but now I must also keep the Dark Lord happy, complying to every horrific order and command he gives. My entire life is revolved around this mark now. It will tear me apart at the seams. It's already starting to; you can see it just by looking at me. Since the summer, my skin has grown paler, my eyes have grown dull, and my face thin. Misery and circumstance have taken a toll on me.

My face is drenched in tears, which I try to wipe away, but it's no use; they just keep coming. I can't bring myself to look at it, my blemished skin. It's as if looking at it is what makes it real. If I don't look at it; I can deny its existence. I couldn't live like that forever, but for now, it's enough to get me off the floor and into the bathroom.

I stand, my head hanging over the sink. I work myself through each breath, convincing myself that somehow, some way, it was going to be alright. I let the water run, hiding my sobs from those downstairs. I splash the water on my face and the back of my neck, trying to revive myself, to make myself look alive rather than like a walking corpse. I change my tear-soaked shirt to put on a clean, pressed black button down shirt.

I wipe my eyes one last time before saying, "Alohomora." I open the door quietly, to try and hear what my mother and Aunt Bella were talking about it. "Cissy, it's an honour for him to bare the mark, not a burden. The Dark Lord believed he was ready. It's only fitting, given the task he's ordered Draco to perform." My aunt hissed. They sit on the sofa, my mother is tense, sitting with perfect posture. "He wasn't ready for it, Bella. He's my son, not yours. You weren't supposed to make that choice for him." My mother whispers as I walk down the staircase as quietly as possible.

I can see my mother wiping a tear away from her eye as her deranged sister rolls her eyes at her. I take a louder step, allowing them to know I was here. My mother quickly stands up, flattening out her skirt. "Oh Draco dear, I didn't see you there." She says, her voice higher than normal. I don't say anything, but I can see my mother's face sadden as she looks at me. "We must go; the train is leaving soon." She says, reassuring herself. I nod. "Goodbye Aunt Bella." I utter as she forced me into a half-embrace, in which, I remained stiff as wand. She gives me her signature smile as I back into the fireplace, taking floo powder into my hand before stating, "Platform 9¾."

I reappear, stepping out of the fireplace and onto the platform. My mother joins my side within moments. As the train conductor is ushering the few passengers onto the train, my mother pulls me into an unusually tight hug. When she releases me, she puts her hand on my cheek, studying me with worried eyes. "Be a good boy, Draco. I love you. Remember, you mustn't distract yourself." She whispers. I nod slightly, slightly taken back by her words, it was rare that she verbally told me she loved me; it was always just implied. "Always, mother. I love you too. I'll see you at Christmas." I say, reassuringly. "See you at Christmas." She says softly, as I begin to walk away, leaving her alone with only Aunt Bella to comfort her.

As I watch my mother fade away into the darkness, I think to myself how she never wanted this for me. If it were up to her; I'd be able to choose because she didn't get to. I think that if things were different, she would have liked me to be with Katherine, even though her parents were aurors and members of the Order of the Phoenix. I think she just wants me to be happy because she knows how it feels not to be.


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

It's been a few weeks since Draco's disappearance and for the first time since, he's agreed to meet me to work on our presentation. As much as I don't care to admit it, I've been worried about him. He seems a bit off, more than before. I don't know what happened that day he was gone, but it changed him.

When I arrive at the library, he's already there, running his hands through his hair. When he sees me approaching, he gives me a weak smile that fades quickly. I smile back as I slide into the chair, taking out my parchment. "Hey Katherine." He says, his voice as sullen as the look on his face. "Hi Draco." I say, in a lighter tone. He looks hurt, like whipped dog, obedient, yet terrified. Even in his hollow form, he still manages to look attractive.

A strand of hair falls into his eye, which he brushes out of the way carefully. "Are you alright, Creswell?" He says, causing me to look up from my book. When I look up, his silver eyes are examining my face. I furrow my eyebrows. "I'm okay." I say, giving him a warm, reassuring smile. I look back down for a moment, contemplating my next move. I look back at him, worried, and ask, "I think the real question is: are you okay, Draco?" He looks a bit taken back by my question, but not offended as I thought he would be.

He swallows before answering, "I'm fine." The tone in his voice changes, "Why would you ask?" He gives me a half-smile, but it's not very convincing. "I dunno. You just seem… different, on edge." I reply to which he gives me a nod. I expected a snarky comment, but I didn't receive one. We go back to working, but I can feel his eyes on me every once in a while, gazing. We begin to work on the outline, Draco and I each working on a different part of the presentation.

After about an hour and a half, I stand up and put back the book I was reading from. "I'm going to go to the Great Hall for dinner. Are you going to come?" I ask as I glanced at him. He shakes his head, only looking up from his book for a moment. "No, I'm not feeling very hungry." Instead of running along to the Great Hall like I should have, I sit back down next to him. "I'll stay, if you want. I'm not very hungry either." I add, causing him to smile, but not look at me. "Thanks." He replies.

I gaze out the large window, noticing how beautiful it is outside. I long to feel the autumn breeze. I turn Draco, whose blond hair is glowing in the sunlight. "Let's go outside." I say, ushering him toward the doorway. He gives me an odd sort of chuckle before asking, "Why?" I shrug. "Why not?" I retort with a smile. He lets out a small sigh and shakes his head, smiling at me. "All right, Creswell." He says, standing up. We gather our things and put them in my rucksack underneath the desk.

I grab his hand, rushing him out the door and through the corridor until we reach the courtyard. As we exit the castle, I take notice how we've not seen one person around, not even in the library. I let of Draco's hand, leaving mine cold and empty, as I sit down on the grass. "Sometimes, I like to come out here and watch the sunset while everyone else is dinner." I say quietly, although there's no one around. I watch as he sits down next to me. "It helps me to clear my head without anyone bothering me." I add, still looking at him.

He's looking at the pink and orange sky with childish wonder, his eyes regaining some of their sparkle. I can't help but smile at him. The sun's hitting his beautiful face at just the right angles. I hold my breath as I place my head carefully on his shoulder. I shouldn't be doing this; it's too dangerous. I don't move though. Instead, I keep my head where it is and my eyes on the priceless sight before me. My heart pounds as I look on; it sounds so loud to me I'm surprised Draco doesn't hear it as well. "Beautiful, isn't it?" I ask him, trying not to make things awkward. I feel him nod and breathe out a staggered breath. "Yeah… Beautiful." He whispers, looking onward towards the disappearing sun.

Once the sun does set, we head back inside to gather our things. The energy between us hangs in the air, lingering. We return the books back to their shelves and organize our papers. When we finally reach the staircase at which we part, I put a hand on his bicep, giving his arm a light squeeze before stating, "See you tomorrow, yeah?" He nods back at me with a smile. "See you tomorrow." He says, the smile still placed gracefully on his face. He walks down the stairs leaving me to alone to go up.

As I walk back to Gryffindor tower, I think about Draco. He's different; he's nicer to me, kinder. I don't think he's as bad as people make him out to be. He's still arrogant and pompous at times, but this side of him isn't that. It's gentle, careful at times. It was nice to see him smile, without it he looked sad, empty.

"Abstinence." I say clearly, waking up the Fat Lady. "Why is it always you that's interrupting me?" She asks rudely, her face contorted into a glare. I ignore her and walk through the door into the common room, which is mostly empty besides a few stragglers. I sit down on the sofa next to the only person I really know: Harry. "Hi." I whisper, looking into the fire as he does. His head turns to look at me. "Hi." He says, wrapping his arm around me.

"Where have you been?" He asks, with almost an accusatory tone, but not quite. "The library." I state plainly. He nods and doesn't ask any further questions. We sit there for a while, just talking about nothing in particular. We haven't done this in a long time, just sit together, the two of us. We used to all of the time, but we've been so busy lately. I've missed him

We eventually retire to bed, where I find Hermione asleep with a book in her hand. I take it from her, bookmark the page and then place it onto her bedside table. By the time I lay down in bed, my mind has returned to Draco. I don't know why I can't get him out of my head. For five years, I couldn't care less about Draco Malfoy or well-being. I never hated him, but I just never cared enough to think about it.

Despite his exhausted look, he's still by far one of the most attractive boys at Hogwarts. There's no denying it. His eyes, I could get lost in them forever. His face is handsome as well, beautiful, like a sculpture. I bite my lip, thinking to myself a dangerous thought. The thought that I like Draco Malfoy.

Everyone, my friends, my family, the Order, they would all think I've gone mad. The idea, the very thought, sounds insane in my head; I can't even imagine saying it out loud. Katherine Creswell daughter of aurors Rosie and William Creswell; members of the Order of the Phoenix, Gryffindor and best friend to Harry Potter, likes Draco Malfoy. Draco Malfoy: the son of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy who are loyal Death Eaters, Slytherin, nephew of Bellatrix Lestrange who took part in the torture of my father and murdered Sirius Black among many others, and hates all three of my best friends.

I rub my temples; I've given myself a pounding headache just thinking about it. I'm falling apart, piece-by-piece. I become nauseous wondering what my friends would think. I think I'm broken beyond repair this time. I have to be mad to like Draco. I must be; I have to be. I get out of bed and go to the sink, where I splash water on my face, hoping to make myself feel better. It doesn't help, within moments I'm retching over the toilet on my knees. I attempt to stand back up, but instead I almost fall back down, as Hermione catches me.

The whole room begins to spin as I lean back down to retch again. I lie down on the floor, in fetal position, quaking. I can see Hermione's lips move, but the sound is muffled; I can't hear her. I breathe slowly, forcing the air out. Hermione leaves the bathroom and returns moments later with my throw blanket and pillow off of my bed. She helps me to stand up before wrapping in the blanket.

Hermione sits me down on my bed and disappears again for what feels like hours, but in actuality was probably a minute or two. She arrives again with Harry, whom I can tell is worried. He lifts my left side as Hermione lifts my right. I clench my eyes shut in pain as they lead me through the corridors. Harry whispers in my ear that it's going to be okay, but the pain is relentless.

I let out a muffled groan as they lay me down on a bed in the hospital wing. I immediately roll into fetal position, hugging my knees to my chest. Harry stays at my side, taking my hand in his, trying to comfort me by rubbing his thumb back and forth. Hermione calls over Madam Pomfrey and begins to tell her what happened. "Thank you Ms. Granger, Mr. Potter. You did the right thing by bringing her here. She's well tended for here. You can go."

Hermione walks over to me and says gently, "I'm going back to Gryffindor Tower. I'll be back first thing in the morning." I give her a small nod, letting her know I heard here. Harry doesn't move from my side. "Harry, are you coming?" She asks him, her voice tired. He shakes his head, but doesn't take his eyes off of me. "I think I'm going to stay here for a little while. I'll be up soon." He says quietly as not to wake the other injured and sick students.

I hear Hermione's small footsteps leave the room, the door shutting loudly behind her. Madam Pomfrey returns to my side with a sleeping draught. Harry helps me sit up, so that I can swallow it. As I lie back down, I can feel my eyes getting heavier and heavier; it becomes impossible to keep them open, easing me into a deep sleep.

I wake up to a silent room and notice the large clock on the wall; it's 5:42 pm. Madam Pomfrey walks over to me, looking me over and giving me some more medication. "Darling, your friends left a note; they were here earlier, but you were sound asleep." she says, handing me a piece of paper that was sitting on the bedside table. They stated that they were going to stay until I woke up, but they were going to Hogsmeade Village today, as we had planned before this happened. They said that when they came back they would come to visit. I place it back down as I slowly sit up.

The silence is broken as the heavy door lurches open to reveal Draco standing on the other side. He approaches me slowly, almost carefully before sitting down at the chair. His eye are red, as if he'd been crying, but his facial expression seems to ignore it. He smirks at me, "Why hello there." He says, an arrogant twinge in his voice. I give him a weak smile as I reply, "Hello Malfoy." I begin to feel self conscious as his eyes pierce mine. I pull up my blanket to my shoulders, hiding myself. Why was he even here?

"So what happened to get you landed in here?" He asks, gesturing to the room as a whole. "It's a bit complicated. Why are you here, Draco?" I ask, raising my eyebrows. "I heard a rumor you were in here, so I thought I'd go and see for myself." He says, shrugging as if it was no big deal that he was here. "Oh." I croak, looking down at my feet, trying not to show the hurt in my eyes. I thought he was here to see if I was okay; I thought he was here because he cared. "Are you alright?" He asks, his face softening a bit. I shrug. "I guess so." He nods, biting his lip.

He sits there for bit, talking to me; it kept my mind off of where I am and why I was here. Finally, he gets up from his seat, looking at the clock before stating, "I should probably go to dinner." I nod, giving him a slight smile. "I'll come back later." He says, as he begins to walk out. Just as he's about to walk out of the door, I call him, "Malfoy?" He turns around to look at me, a curious look plastered on his face. "Hm?" He asks. "You don't have to come check on me, you know." I said softly. His eyes look directly into my brown ones. He gives me smile, "I know, Creswell. I want to." He turns immediately around, walking out the door before I could say anything else. Not that I was able to; he left me utterly speechless.


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

Only a few minutes after Malfoy left, did Harry, Ron and Hermione burst in, disrupting the moment I was still lingering on. "We finally caught you while you're awake." Ron says with a chuckle, although their faces seem anything but amused. "Hi guys." I say lightly. Harry carefully slides into the chair next to me, a nervous expression etched upon his mouth as Hermione sits on the edge of my bed. They say nothing for a moment, leaving me in worry and suspense about what had happened. "Katie Bell was cursed." Harry finally says, worry filling his eyes.

I stare at all three of them in disbelief. "What? Is she okay?" Hermione gives me a grim look before whispering, "They brought her straight to St. Mungo's." My eyes wide, I ask, "How?" Harry looks from me to Hermione who nods. "She was hexed to deliver a cursed necklace to Professor Dumbledore. She touched it and it tortured her." He pauses, sighing. "Lucky we saw it happen otherwise…" He hesitates on the words, Hermione finishing them instead. "Otherwise, she would have been dead."

I've known Katie for years; we've been on the quidditch team together since our second year. She's one of our chasers, along with Ginny and me. She's sweet and kind; she wouldn't hurt anyone. "Does this mean someone tried to murder Dumbledore?" I ask, really just thinking out loud. Hermione nods, "It looks that way." I sigh, furrowing my eyebrows. Maybe Hogwarts isn't safe anymore after all. "I know you don't want to hear it, Kat, but I think it was Malfoy." Harry says as I shake my head. I think of the Draco that sat before me only a few minutes ago. He couldn't do that. "I'm telling you Harry; there's no way." I say.

He gives Ron a grim look, which he returns. "Anyway, are you feeling any better?" Hermione asks, trying to change the subject. I nod to her replying, "A lot better actually." Harry smiles at me. His bright eyes look tired, exhausted actually. "That's good. Will you be able to play tomorrow?" Ron asks, referring to the quidditch match against Slytherin. "We're down one chaser with Katie gone." He says. "I'm not sure. I hope so. Harry, who did you choose to fill in?" I ask, turning to look at him. "I was going to ask you, but I was thinking Dean. He showed promise and had skill somewhat." I nod, agreeing. "All right, Dean it is. I'm sure Ginny will be very happy about that." I say with a laugh.

After they leave, Madam Pomfrey gives me some more medication. Besides the small conversations we have, it's silent in here. Everyone who was here left this morning; I'm the only one still here. My mind shifts back to what Harry said about Malfoy. There's no way he can be right about him. Draco's not a warrior; he's not his father. I know Harry hates him, but he doesn't see what I'm seeing the kindness underneath his hard exterior. He just isn't capable of something so horrible. He isn't evil.

As if on cue, the door opens, revealing the silhouette of him standing there. He walks slowly towards me, his footsteps echoing throughout the empty room. I didn't actually think that he'd come back; I thought it was just talk. Madam Pomfrey gives both of us a strange look as we smile at each other. "You came back." I say, attempting to hold back a wide smile. He stands with his hands in his pockets next to the bed. "I said I was going to, didn't I?" He says, the words make my heart flutter a bit. "I didn't think you were actually going to come." I say, still smiling slightly. "Why wouldn't I?" He asks, sitting down in the chair. I sit up, readjusting the pillow behind me. "I don't know." I say.

"Are you feeling any better?" He asks, his voice laced with concern, that I didn't hear in it very often. "The same." I reply, shrugging. He stares at me for a moment, looking into my eyes in a deep sort of way. His face was captivating, from his fascinating grey eyes, to his chiseled chin to his platinum blonde hair, perfected combed over, not a strand out of place.

"Are you going to be well enough to play tomorrow?" He asks, his expression shifting a bit to a lighter one. "I'm not quite sure, but I hope so." I say, leaving out the part about Katie Bell not being able to play. I can't quite bring myself to talk about it yet, especially after Harry's accusations. "I look forward to seeing you on pitch. I'll be in stands rooting for Slytherin of course." He says, a competitive smirk plastered on his face. This smirk though, is not filled with the arrogance, but seems to say 'game on'. I mimic the face back to him, making him laugh lightly. His laugh is beautiful, giving me a warm feeling; I wish I could hear it more often.

When Madam Pomfrey comes in to check on me, she stops for a second, studying us. "Mr. Malfoy, what are you doing here?" She asks suspiciously, raising her eyebrows at him. Draco's smile fades as she speaks. "You see Madam Pomfrey," He says, his arrogance showing through. "Professor Binns paired us up together for a presentation. I'm just here to see if Katherine was well enough to work on it." He says, holding up the textbook he had sitting on his lap. She nods, "Very well." She then walks away, leaving us alone once again.

As the night goes on, Draco stays with me. We talk, enjoying each other's company although neither of us would admit it. "Are you going to Slughorn's dinner party next week?" I ask him innocently, remembering him on the train. He rolls his eyes before replying, "No, but honestly I'm quite glad. He seems utterly boring and… simple." He states, almost defensively. "I don't really want to go, but I want to make a good impression." I reply. He nods understandingly.

I don't remember falling asleep, but I must've because I don't recall Draco leaving. I can remember my eyes getting heavier the later the time got. I can remember the way were just looking at each other, not saying a word. There's something else though; I don't know it was real or not, but… I might have been dreaming, but I can almost remember, almost feel, a pair of lips lips on my forehead as I was sleeping.

 **Draco's POV**

I know I shouldn't have done it; I kissed her on the forehead. I saw my opportunity; I needed to see how it felt, just once. I gave into my feelings, into my whims. One moment of weakness in a lifetime of trying to stay strong. She looked so beautiful, so peaceful. I know she won't remember it or even know that it happened in the first place, but that doesn't matter. It's better off that way anyway. She'd probably punch me if she knew about it. She wouldn't want my lips anywhere near her.

The further I walk from her, the more I feel the pit in my stomach trying to consume me. I never meant to hurt anyone; I never wanted to. It was a stupid plan; it never would have worked. I feel the mark on my arm burn underneath my skin, reminding me of what I am, of what I must do. It makes me just want to run away from it all; leave everything behind. I would be free from this; free of my father, free of my aunt, free of the Dark Lord. I know that running is never the answer, but just once, I want to be allowed to walk away from it all. I want to be able to make my own decisions, make my own choices about my future. In this life, I haven't any.

I walk quickly down the hallway, trying not to be seen. I shouldn't be out of bed at this hour, let alone visiting Katherine. As I turn a corner, entering the dungeon, I'm thrust against the wall hard, smacking the back of my head against the stone walls. "Lumos." I say, looking to see who was holding me. Professor Snape stands over me, a hard look on his face. "You were sloppy." He whispers sternly. As soon as he speaks, I know exactly what he's talking about. "Potter is onto you even more than he was before and Ms. Bell is resting unconscious in bed at St. Mungo's." He says.

My heart sinks. Not that I particularly care what happens to Katie Bell, but I messed up a chance to complete my mission. I messed up big time. What's more is that I hurt someone innocent; I could have become a murderer. Not that that wasn't going to happen anyway. "She wasn't supposed to touch the necklace." I say in my defense. "The plan was stupid, childish. It was never going to work." He says coldly. "Especially since your focus is elsewhere." He adds. I furrow my eyebrows and ask, "What are you talking about?" In a rather rude tone. "You and I both know that you're too busy staring at Ms. Creswell to give the mission your full attention." He says as if it was plain as day. I stare at him, my eyes wide.

Snape knows? How in the bloody hell does Snape know? "Are you mad?" I ask, trying to force out a laugh. "Let's not play games with each other, Draco." Snape says monotonously. "Surely you know what will happen if the Dark Lord finds out that you're hopelessly in love with a member of the Order of the Phoenix, especially someone right at Potter's side." I don't answer him, but he keeps talking nonetheless. "He will torture her, Draco; force you watch as he performs the cruciatus curse on her. He will make you perform the curse upon her, or worse. She's a weakness, a liability. He will use her to make you do things for him." I bite my lip and still stand speechless.

"You have to be more careful. Not just about the way you choose to complete your mission, but about what you think. He can penetrate your mind with a single spell. I suggest you either get your act together or become trained in occlumency. Otherwise he'll get to her to get to you." He pauses to take a breath. I've always been good at occlumency; my feelings are so repressed I've been a natural since I was a child.

"If you want to survive this Draco, no more accidents like today. That girl could've died and the blood would be stained on your hands. You must focus; you must work." He lingers for a moment, not walking away, but not saying anything. Maybe he's waiting for a reply, but I don't speak. I can barely breathe let alone utter a word. "I see you're surprised that I know, that I noticed." He pauses in that way that he does. "Well, let's just say I'm not exactly new to this territory in love."

With that he walks away, leaving me alone in the dark corridor to ponder on his words. I was frozen in that spot for a few moments. It's all just seemed so strange. How was it that Snape knew that I liked Kat? If Snape knew, who else did? One question stuck with me more than any other one, nagging me: who could Severus Snape possibly have loved?


	7. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

After gaining permission from Madam Pomfrey, I leave the hospital wing early this morning, returning to the dormitories to get ready before the match. When I arrive, Hermione is sitting on the bed waiting for me. "Why are you up so early?" I ask, after she practically gave me a heart attack. "I couldn't sleep." She says. "You need to get ready. We're meeting Harry and Ron downstairs soon." I nod, walking into the bathroom and closing the door.

I strip down and get into the steaming shower, allowing the hot water to melt off the grime from being sick. I get out of the shower and use a spell to dry my hair, so that it won't be wet when I go out on the pitch. I pull it into a tight ponytail at the top of my head before applying makeup quickly, as Hermione knocks on the door to tell me to hurry up. I pull on my Gryffindor jumper for now, but I'll change into my quidditch robes after breakfast.

Hermione and I walk down the stairs to the common room, where Harry and Ron are standing waiting for us. "About time." Ron says sarcastically. He's wearing his keeper padding. Ever since the first game he's been doing it. I think he thinks that it's a good luck charm. I elbow him, rolling my eyes. "Ready to kick some serious Slytherin ass?" Harry asks, giving me a smile. "Always." I say, smiling back at him. Ron's girlfriend Lavender comes rushing down the stairs and jumps into his arms. I'm not the biggest fan of Lavender, but then again, who actually likes her? Ron's only interested in her because she took up a fancy to him. I look over to Hermione who begins to walk out of the door and into the corridor.

Only about a minute behind, Harry and I follow her, leaving Ron alone with that daft bitch. As we walk to the Great Hall, Harry and I talk strategy, especially regarding what to do with Dean. This is our first game without Katie on the pitch; we have to be prepared for anything that Slytherin can throw at us.

Last night, Harry went to the kitchen to order a specific breakfast for the team, so we eat that, even though I'd much rather be eating a muffin than eggs and toast. Ron eventually joins us, bringing Lavender along, which causes Hermione to distance herself a bit, taking out a book to read. She's jealous and hurt; I can see it in her eyes. I put my arm around her and squeeze, letting her know I'm here.

"Ron, stop elbowing me!" I say, hitting him back. "Sorry Katherine." He says, his mouth full of eggs and toast. He spit some onto my cheek, which I wipe off onto a napkin. I make a disgusted noise before saying, "Didn't anyone ever tell you it's rude to talk with your mouth full, Ronald? It's revolting." He rolls his eyes at me and then swallows his food. "Merlin. You sound like mum." He says, before taking a gulp of orange juice. I laugh and push him, to which Lavender gives me a hateful glare. Hermione snickers, still looking down at her book.

I look two tables over to see Draco, mulling his food over with his fork. He looks absolutely miserable. Goyle seems to be talking to him, but he's not really listening to him; he's just staring down at the table. I try to study his face, try to understand what he's feeling, but I can't. I think back to last night and about what might have happened. It felt so real; his lips on my forehead, carefully and gently placed. I bite my lip, assuring myself that as much as I wanted it to happen it didn't; it was all in my head.

Harry, Ron and I leave breakfast early, along with the rest of the team, so that we can prepare for the match. No one says much, acknowledging Katie's absence with silence. We part at the lavatories to get changed into our robes, meeting up moments later. We all walk down together to go retrieve our brooms and for Harry and I to give our pregame pep talk.

I grab my Firebolt out of the broom cupboard, which my mom had gotten me for Christmas last year. Harry and I stand facing the rest of the team, who are staring intently at us. "I know we're all a bit off right now because of what happened to Katie, but I have a good feeling. I think we're going to win this match. We're going to win it for her. What happened to her was awful, but we have to show Slytherin today that we're stronger than we were before because this tragedy will bring us together as a team; it gives us something in common. It gives us something to fight for." Harry says, causing the team to nod. He leaves me to talk strategy, form and game plan. I discuss how Dean will play a part and how we're going to cope from the loss of talent with Katie's absence. I repeat that we're going to win for her.

We all stand quietly until we walk out onto the pitch, into the roaring crowd of red and green. It's always a good feeling, although overwhelming at times. We all get into position as we mount our brooms, taking off into formation, waiting for the whistle. I give Ron a thumbs up as he positions himself in front of the hoops.

As I begin to think I'm in the right mindset to play, my eyes land on a figure in the crowd. An unmistakable figure with platinum blonde hair, dressed in emerald green. I almost think I see him smile at me, but I'm too far away to tell. Either way, I give him a small smile back, whether he sees it or not, I don't know. "Oi! Who are you looking at Kat?" Ginny says from behind me. "No one. I was just scanning the crowd." I reply, although I doubt she believes me. She drops it anyhow, shrugging it off as Madam Hooch blows the whistle, signalling the start of the game.

I'll admit I was a bit worried about not having Katie here as one of my chasers, but I was impressed with the team overall. Like Harry had said earlier, this had brought us together, giving us a sense of something to work for. In the end, the score was 190-100 after Harry had caught the snitch. We all gathered together as Harry and I gave our 'good job' speech on how even though we won this game, we had challenges up ahead and that we weren't to stop trying, stop working. If we wanted to win the cup, we had to continue to play this way for the rest of the season.

I put my broom in the cupboard and gave Harry a hug. "Good game." He says, smiling into my hair. "That it was." I reply, returning his smile. He goes to walk out, but stops when he sees I'm not following. "You coming?" He asks, his smiling fading slightly. I shake my head. "I'll catch up with you in a bit, alright?" I say, giving him a reassuring look. He nods, walking out.

I sit down on a bench on the side of the pitch, allowing my mind to wander. I think of my parents, whom I'm deeply worried about. I haven't told anyone, but my dad has been losing more memory lately; he's beginning to forget even the simplest things. The worse my dad gets, the worse my mum gets. He's her tether to the world. Without him, she's lost. She loves him so much. That's why she's going mad; she can't cope in this world without him, especially knowing that Voldemort's back. She knows we're not safe anymore.

My mind flickers to Draco as I drift back to last night. I didn't actually think he'd come back to see me. I thought it was just talk. It made me so happy when he did show. This boy is driving me mad. I shouldn't even like him; it's not the way it's supposed to be. He's my best friend's rival. He's a Slytherin and I'm a Gryffindor. My parents were in the Order and so am I, while his parents are Death Eaters.

As I'm searching for reasons why we shouldn't be together, I wind finding the one reason we should; the reason we should try. It goes back to what Harry had said to the team this morning: that tragedies bring people together, they create a commonality among those even drastically different from one another. They make us stronger, a team. It gives us something to fight for. We're both broken, in different and yet the same places.

Almost without my notice, someone sits next to me on the bench and says, "Fancy meeting you here." I look over to see Draco Malfoy faintly smiling next to me. "Why, hello Malfoy." I say through my smile, giving him a nudge with my shoulder. "Shouldn't you be out with your team celebrating yet another victory against us?" He asks, chuckling a bit. "There will always be a next time." I say jokingly. His blond hair blows in the wind, as he doesn't have it gelled down today. Why do I have to fancy him, of all people? Why can't it just be simple?

"When did you leave last night?" I ask him. He hesitates a bit before answering, "Only a little while after you fell asleep." I nod. His eyes sparkle in the glowing light of sun; I can see specks of color I've never seen in anyone's eyes before. "I don't really remember falling asleep. I suspect whatever Madam Pomfrey gave me knocked out." I say, to which he gives a laugh.

Up here it seems as if the world we know is so far away, the world of suffering, the world with the war, the world where it's not okay that we're seen together or even talk to one another. It feels like we're safe. It seems like we're looking at it from a distance, as if we're on the sidelines. It's almost relieving. I say almost because I know that we're not removed from that world; I know that we're right in the middle of it, we're entrenched in it. I know that we're not safe, none of us are. All we can do is cope with it and how we cope with it makes all the difference.

After quite a while of sitting there next to him, talking, I say, "We should probably go back." I point towards the castle; it looks so beautiful from up here. "Yeah." He says. "We should." We each stand up, preparing ourselves to enter back into the world inside of the castle, the world filled with pain and evil, but at the same time it's filled with happiness and laughter.

We walk next to each other, down the quidditch pitch, not standing too close, but not too far away. If anyone were to see us, it must look strange to see us together. Me, dressed in my crimson quidditch robes, and Malfoy, wearing his greenest Slytherin attire. In many ways, we're opposites of each other, but they say opposites attract. All you need is one commonality: the will love each other, the will to try. I'm sure that's all bollocks though. I can't help that I like him, but I can't keep fantasizing that he likes me because it would be impossible. Even if he did, it wouldn't work, Draco and I. There's too much in the way; it's too complicated, this world.

As we walk silently, I can hear voices in the distance. "Harry, you stepped on my foot." Hermione says. "Sorry Hermione." He says. I pretend I don't hear them, but I tug on the sleeve of Draco's jumper, letting him know that they were there. He gives a slight nod, looking at me. Only a moment later, Harry pulls on the hood of my robe, causing me to fall back a bit. "Hi Harry." I say, giving him a cheeky grin. His eyes fall on Draco, glaring at him. "What are you doing here, Malfoy?" He spits, maintaining his glare as Draco turns around to look at him. "None of your concern, Potter." He says crudely.

"Piss off Malfoy." Hermione says, giving him a hard look, but not quite as hateful as Harry's. "Gladly." Draco says with a smirk, walking away whilst muttering something under his breath. As he walks away from me though, his hand brushes up against mine softly, but accidentally, causing chills up and down my spine. "What an ass." Harry says, watching Draco disappear into the castle. "Anyway," Hermione says, changing the subject. "Good game Kat; you did really well out there." I smile and say, "Thanks."

As we walk up to the common room, I make brief eye contact with Draco on the staircase running parallel to ours, mouthing 'sorry', but I'm not quite sure if he saw me. For once, the Fat Lady lets us in without any delay or comment. As we enter, Harry pulls two licorice wands out of his pocket and offers one to me, to which I decline.

Before we can even sit down, Ron and Lavender come stumbling in, snogging, unbeknownst that we were even there. He doesn't even give us a glance as Lavender giggles and pulls him up the stairs toward the dormitories. I look over at Hermione, whose coloring has faded from her face, leaving her white as a ghost. She stands still, biting her quivering lip, before running up the stairs. "Hermione wait!" Harry yells up to her, running to the bottom of the staircase. I begin to follow her up the stairs as I say to Harry, "Stay down here. I'll talk to her." He gives me a nod, before sitting down on the sofa.

"Alohomora." I whisper, unlocking our bedroom door, to see Hermione sitting in tears on her bed. I could hear her weeping from the hallway. I close the door behind me, muttering, "Colloportus." I sit next to her on the bed, putting my arm around her, comforting her. "I'm so sorry, Hermione." She puts her head on my shoulder, shaking her head. "It's not your fault that he doesn't…" She hesitates on the words before squeaking out, "Love me."

She wipes some of her tears away, only for more to stream down her face. "He does love you. He just doesn't realize it quite yet. You know how he is; sometimes he's so profoundly dumb that he doesn't see what's right in front of him." I say, reassuring her that it would work out in the end. I j-just d-didn't think he l-liked her s-so much. I w-wanted him t-to choose m-me." She stutters out, sniffing in between words. "I know and he will."

I let go of her as she wipes away her tears, trying make herself look as if she was okay, as if she hadn't just been crying. She faces me before speaking again. "I know you like him." She sniffles once more. I can practically hear my heart stop as she utters her next word. "Draco." Unable to speak, I shake my head and give her a smile as if to say, 'that's ridiculous'. I gather my thoughts into one simple sentence. It takes all the restraint I have to say it. "I do not like Draco Malfoy." I try as hard as I can not to bite my lip. "You don't have to hide it from me, Katherine." She says, hesitating. "I can see it in your eyes when he enters the room, when you look at him. It's almost the way I look at Ron." She says, forcing each word out, but manages to make it flow with ease. She frowns a moment, thinking about Ron just down the hall.

"You don't think I've noticed how checked out you've been lately?" She asks, not really expecting an answer. "Fuck." I whisper under my breath, looking down at my clenched fist. "What?" She says. "I said 'fuck'." I repeat, although I know that's not what she meant. "I know that; I meant why." She says logically. "I can't help it Hermione. I've tried, but I can't stop it. I can't get him out of my mind." I say, struggling to even muster the words. "Is it really that obvious?" I ask worriedly. She shakes her head before practically whispering, "I know you, Katherine. You're my best friend; that's why I noticed."

"I don't want Harry and Ron to know; I don't want anyone to know." I say, holding my head in my hands. "I'm not going to tell anyone." She says sympathetically. "Unlike them, I'm not going to get angry at you for liking him, even though I don't know what you see in him." She contorts her face a little, although she tries her best not to. I give her a small smile before uttering, "Thanks."

I can't even will myself to imagine what Harry and Ron would think. Harry would go into a fit of rage; I don't think he'd speak to me anymore, but not until after I had an earful of him scolding me loudly about how I fell for a 'potential Death Eater' as well as one of the people he hates most in this world. Ron would give me a lecture on how god-awful Draco really is and how I'm blind to him, but I'm not blind. I've never seen him so clearly as I do now.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight**

 **A/N: Sorry this chapter's so short; I believe the next one is a bit longer.**

Harry, Hermione and I walk through the dungeon toward Slughorn's office. Tonight was his dinner party to which we were invited and Ron was not. He was quite bitter about it actually, especially since even Ginny _was_ invited and Slughorn couldn't even remember his name. Oh well, he has Lav-Lav to hang out with. With her practically eating his face twenty-four hours a day, he'll hardly know we're gone.

We were instructed by the invitation to wear neat casuals to the dinner, nothing too extravagant. I'm wearing a simple black dress with a v-necked top and a flared out bottom that ends just above the knee while my hair is loosely curled, as opposed to it's normal bouncy, light curls. Harry's wearing his nicest pair of jeans with button down shirt and casual blazer whilst Hermione's wearing a cute jumper with jeans.

As we near the office, the door to the Slytherin common room opens, revealing Draco, completely alone. I try give him a small smile as we pass, letting him know that I'm acknowledging his presence. He stares at us, biting his bottom lip. I watch him as we walk away, gazing slightly. I can feel Hermione's eyes on me, studying my movements. I honestly wish he was invited, but even if he was, it would be tense and awkward. Especially since Hermione knows that I'm trying not to fancy him, but I can't help it. I didn't tell her much, but I told her how I feel when I see him and how he acts around me, how different he is.

I'm thrown out of my trance by Slughorn greeting us at the door. "Good evening. Find a place and sit down." He says, shaking each of our hands. Slughorn's office is actually quite large, fitting a long table with golden plates set on it. I find my seat between Hermione and Neville, whom I whisper to as I sit down. "This'll be fun." I say, laughing a little bit as I gesture slightly to the other students who are here. It's quite an interesting bunch. Besides the four of us, there was Ginny, Neville, Marcus Belby of Ravenclaw, the Slytherin twins Hestia and Flora Carrow, Cormac McLaggen, Blaise Zabini, and Melinda Bobbin. I didn't know any of them other than Neville and Ginny very well and it seemed that many were odd choices to have at a dinner party. Ginny wasn't even here yet, which was not like her. Neville chuckles before replying, "I'm betting on it."

I can't help but wonder why Draco wasn't invited. Blaise was and he was just as intelligent as Draco maybe less so. There's even a photograph on a shelf in the office of Professor Slughorn and Draco's father from when he was a student here. I can't fathom why he wouldn't want him here. He's extremely influential and well-connected, which according to Harry, are the things that Slughorn values most in his students.

Hermione sits tensely next to me as Cormac stares at her as Slughorn speaks to each student about their families and their connections to powerful people. He's a bit creepy and is kind of a pig, so I understand where she's coming from. His aggressively arrogant attitude and sense of entitlement always overshadowed any attraction I could've felt for him.

As I pick at my dinner, Slughorn settles on me to talk to next. "Ms. Creswell," He says, causing me to look up from my plate. "How are your parents doing these days?" He asks, a smile smeared across his face. "Katherine's parents were great aurors back in the day. They helped immensely during the Wizarding War." He adds, looking from student to student at their unchanged and unimpressed faces of boredom.

"My father's been the same for years. His memory is depleted a bit since his days as an auror, but other than that, he's the same man. I visited him just before I left for school. Mum's well; she's doing the best she can." I lie through my teeth, smiling. Neville holds my hand from under the table as I feel a lump rise in my throat. "It's a shame what happened to your father." He says, pausing before continuing to speak. I blink back tears, swallowing hard. "As I recall, your mother, Rosie, had quite an aptitude for potions as well as defense against the dark arts, am I correct? I assume that's where your talent originates from." He asks, wagging his finger at me. I nod, replying, "Yes, I believe it was one of her favourite subjects." He nods back at me saying, "Excellent, well, give both your parents my best!"

I bite my tongue as I nod at him. Neville whispers to me, "It'll be okay." He's the only one besides Harry who really knows what's happening with my dad. He knows as I know that my dad's slowly disintegrating away from us, getting further and further every day. He's watched it happen with me; he was there the whole time, by his bedside, holding my hand.

Next, Slughorn turns to Hermione, seemingly expecting to hear something fascinating about the muggle world. "So, Ms. Granger, what is it that your parents do in the muggle world?" He emphasizes, but almost whispers the words, as if they were taboo. Hermione plays with her spoon in her ice cream as she answers, "My parents are dentists," She pauses, looking up at Slughorn to see everyone staring at her as if she had grown another head. "They tend to people's teeth." She continues as Harry chuckles a bit. They're the only two that really know about the muggle world. "Is that considered a dangerous profession?" Slughorn asks.

Harry snorts, causing pumpkin juice to come spilling out of his nose. I laugh at him, passing him a napkin. She shakes her head. "No," She pauses to let out a giggle. "Although, one boy Robby Fenwick did bite my father once. He needed ten stitches." She laughs again, trying to break the silence. Everyone, including myself stares at her with our eyebrows furrowed. She told me once what stitches were and I vomited. The idea of sewing skin back together is revolting.

As McLaggen speaks for about the tenth time tonight about his connections to the minister, the door swings open, revealing Ginny, dressed in a black dress. Although I could tell she was trying to hide it with makeup, she had just been crying. She wipes away a single tear as soon as it forms, hoping no one noticed. Her eyes are bloodshot and puffy still, as if she had only stopped moments ago. "Look at her eyes. They've been fighting again, her and Dean." Hermione whispers to Harry and I. Harry stands up, causing some of the staring eyes to shift from Ginny.

"Ah! Ms. Weasley! Come in, come in!" Slughorn says, his face lighting up. "Sorry, I'm not usually late." She says, swallowing hard. "No matter, you're just in time for dessert! That is, if Belby's left you any." He says laughing to himself. Ginny forces a smile, trying to humor him, but failing to do so as it comes out pained. Marcus didn't really even seem to notice, continuing to eat his ice cream, not even looking up when the door opened. Harry lowers himself back down as Ginny finds her seat, picking up his napkin. His face turns red, but he smiles through it.

The agonizingly boring dinner party creeps on for another twenty minutes, although it feels like hours. As Slughorn dismissed us, I could see the relieved look on the other students' faces. "God help us all." Hermione whispers, shaking her head as we stand up. I shake Slughorn's hand as we leave. "Good to see you, Ms. Creswell, Ms. Granger." He says, nodding his head profusely. We leave Harry there, as he said he had to speak with Slughorn about something important.

Once we get out into the corridor, I felt like I could finally breathe. I give Hermione a look that makes her burst into laughter. "I don't know how many more evenings I can take with that man." She says. "That was miserable." She adds. "I can barely handle him in lessons." I say, laughing a bit. "This was just pitiful." I shake my head, still laughing.

As we step on the staircase, it begins to change. "Oh great." Hermione says. I'm just about to agree with her when I see Draco standing alone atop the staircase looking down at us. I can hear Hermione sigh in disappointment as my eyes reach his. His grey eyes pierce into my brown ones, as if trying to convey a message. I wave to him discreetly, my hand still at my side, my lip quirking up into an awkward smile. He returns it in a small way, though it fades quickly as he sees Hermione standing next to me. He stalks down the staircase toward us, holding onto the railing as it moves. He goes in between Hermione and I, staring at me as he passes, bumping my shoulder with his. I watch as his white-blond head disappears into the dungeons at the stairs stop moving. " That was pitiful." Hermione says, shaking her head as I feel my face heat up into a deep blush.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine**

 **Draco's POV**

"Malfoy, meet me at the greenhouses at two o'clock." I can still hear Katherine's hushed voice whispering the words to me in History of Magic this morning. Her voice was so mesmerizing, so beautiful. We're meeting there in the hope that maybe we can actually get work done without any other distractions. The due date is getting closer and closer and all we have is an extensive outline and some notes. I'm almost glad that we haven't gotten much done because it means the more time I get to spend with her.

As I approach the greenhouses, my heart sinks in my chest. I don't see her; maybe she forgot that we were meeting today, although it wasn't likely, as it was her idea. I bite my lip and turn the corner to the other side of the greenhouses. To my surprise, Katherine is lying on the ground, on her stomach near a patch of flowers, now wilting in the changing weather. "Creswell." I say, causing her to gasp, whipping her head around. She grabs her wand from her side, moving to raise it. She relaxes immediately as her eyes fixate on mine, dropping her arm back down. "Merlin, Draco, you startled me." She says, giggling a little. Hearing her utter my first name forced my lip to quirk up into a smile. It gave me a strange warm feeling in my chest that I couldn't quite place. "Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you." She pats a patch of grass next to her, calling me over to her. "It's alright; come over here so we can get started." She says. I sit down carefully and place my books beside me. I turn over onto my stomach next to her. She laughs and I'm not sure why, but the sound is so pure I can't help but smile.

"Where do you want to start?" I ask, opening my books. She shrugs, replying "Maybe the essay because if it comes down to it, we can just wing the oral." I nod, moving the outline for the oral to the side and taking out fresh parchment for the essay. I open the textbook as well as Katherine's library books. She writes out the essay as I formulate the information we gathered in the past two weeks into coherent thoughts and repeat it to her.

Katherine's hair blows delicately in the wind, the sun hitting her face at all the right angles. She was glowing, radiating beautifully. Her eyes trail up and down the parchment, rereading what we have written so far. She looks so content, so serious, but yet kind and gentle. She looked so beautiful. She looked perfect, from every feature of her face to her demeanor to her personality. I've never met someone who's been as incredibly kind to me as she has. I can't find one thing about her that I don't admire. Except, maybe her soft spot for Potter or the fact that she's a Gryffindor.

I wish it would be easy for me to like her, for her to like me, but it's not. It's complicated and messed up. It's wrong for me to look at her the way I do, the way I have for years. It's wrong for me to want to kiss her, to want to be with her. This fucked up world we live in controls everything. Because of who I am and who I'm related to, I can't be with the only person I want to be with because of who she's related to. It's not fair to me, to us. Maybe in a different world, in a different time, she would like me back and we would be able to be together. It's stupid. No one asked me who I want to be, what I want to be, who I want to be with; it was all just assumed, expected of me by my family. Why is it that our society, our world, this war, can tell me who I can and can't love?

We're supposed to be able to find comfort in love, but but all I've known is pain and suffering. All I've known is longing from afar, looking through the window at something, someone that I can never have. It's not fair, but then again that's life; that's this world. It's so cruel, so frigid. This world is so cold I don't even find comfort in loving my own parents. In fact, I'm not even sure that I love my father. I love my mother dearly, but my father around, I could never show it to her and she could never show me.

"I'm sorry for running out on you the other day on the quidditch pitch." I say, trying to sound sincere. Her eyes look up from the paper and move to me. She studies me for a moment before answering. "Don't worry about it." Katherine shakes her head. "I know how Harry can get. Sometimes, I just forget…" Her voice trails off, as do her eyes, breaking contact with mine. "What is it?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows. She hesitates, before trailing her eyes back to mine. "I don't want you to take this the wrong way." She says, pausing, biting her lip for a moment, considering whether or not to continue.

"I like hanging out with you, Draco. I really do." She says, hesitating again. Her voice comes out hushed, almost a whisper. "But, sometimes, I forget who I am, who you are because it just seems so… easy. Talking to you, being with you, I mean; it feels natural. I can't really explain it..." She bites her lip, thinking for a moment before continuing her statement, her chocolate orbs staring into my storm grey ones. "I forget how it's supposed to be, how it really is. How we're not supposed to be seen together or talk to each other or even give something as simple as passing glance. Something that feels so natural shouldn't be considered wrong. What I mean to say is that I feel different when I'm with you, if that makes any sense. Sometimes, I feel like I don't care if people see us walking together or talking. Why should I? Of course, there's a million reasons why..." She asks rhetorically and answers herself, trailing off.

Katherine bites her lip, staring at me staring at her, looking completely dumbfounded. "I don't really even know what I'm saying." She says, laughing and shaking her head. I don't really know what to say, what to do. A smile slips over my lips before I can help it. It's now that I notice how close she really is to me right now. I can smell her perfume, sweet, but not too sweet that it's sickening. The scent smells familiar, warming. I turn a potentially disastrous idea over and over in my head, contemplating it as I stare deeply into her eyes. They shift down to her full, pink lips, studying them.

As I lean in, my finger her chin up towards me and place my lips on hers, I can hear my heart in my ears. It's even more amazing than I thought it would be. I've never felt this with anyone before, not Pansy or any other girl I've snogged. I feel as if I can't breathe. I'm kissing the girl I've been hopelessly in love with since I was eleven. I'm kissing the one person I want to be kissing, but the one person I'm not supposed to. I move my hand into her hair as begin to feel her kiss me back. It causes my eyes to slightly open in surprise. Was she actually interested in me? Or was I just hallucinating? I shut my eyes and save all questioning for later, allowing myself to savor the moment. I needed to know, I needed to remember, how it felt to have her lips on mine, just once.

We sit there, staring at each other, both of us still registering what just happened. Neither of us move nor say a single word. My lips tingle, longing to be back on hers. I can still taste her, trying to memorize how it felt. She wears a look as if to say, 'what have I done?'. As she holds her bottom lip, I can see a guilty look spread across her face, making me even more unsure of my decision than I was before. I shouldn't act on impulse, especially now. This was dangerous and stupid.

My heart is still pounding out of my chest, becoming more erratic the longer she looks guilty. She probably regrets it. I wouldn't blame her if she did, just look at who I am. I don't deserve her; I'm a horrible person. I was fool to think that she would be interested in me in the slightest. She was only being kind to me because that's who she is; I read too much into it. She breaks our eye contact and looks down at the ground, her breaths staggered. I swallow hard, trying to understand her expression.

I gather my things, knowing I won't be able to sit next to her in embarrassment for the next few hours pretending as if nothing had happened. As I stand up, she doesn't move a muscle, only her eyes watching me. She looks too deep in thought to be bothered to notice or say anything. As I turn around to leave, I hear her me call back, "Where are you going, Draco?" I turn back around to face her, her brown eyes filled with bewilderment. "Obviously there's a problem, so I'll just go." I snap, walking away quickly, leaving her alone on the grass.

She doesn't say anything else to me. She doesn't come after me or even try to stop me. She just lets me go, lets me leave her there, alone. A small part of me hoped that she would chase after me, but that hope grew smaller and smaller with every step I took. My heart sinks, still taking in what's happened. I'm a coward; I always have been. I shuffle my feet as I walk slowly towards the common room, so that I could shut myself up into my room.

I don't think I've ever felt this first degree of heartbreak before. It's never been so direct, so hurtful. It feels like a punch to the chest, one that knocks all air out of you, all of the strength. It took all the strength I had to even kiss her in the first place. I shouldn't have even done it. I don't really know what to do now. It all seems kind of pointless, empty.

Instead of going to dinner, I stand in the courtyard, watching the sunset as Katherine and I did what feels like ages ago. It doesn't seem quite as beautiful without her here, but it's peaceful nonetheless. I knew no one would bother me out here, or even know where to look. I was excited to see her earlier, but now all I want is to stay away, as to not cause myself anymore embarrassment. I can practically see her, telling Potter, Granger and Weasel about it, laughing together about what a fool Draco Malfoy really was to think that someone like Katherine Creswell would actually like him.

She was perfect; everything about her just seemed so perfect. The one ray of light left in my life and she didn't even know it. Without it, a whole new feeling of lost overwhelms me. It feels as if there's nothing left, as if my life is empty. The mark on my arm burns greatly, causing me to make a fist, holding back a groan. It's as if it knows what I'm feeling and is trying to amplify it.

I wish I could just fade away from this life, this world. I wouldn't seek my father's approval any longer. I wouldn't have to complete my task or do anything that the Dark Lord commands of me. The inkling of feelings for Katherine would dissolve into thin air. It would all just disappear and it would all be so much easier. I have no place in my own life anymore. I could just disappear and start over it would be so much simpler.

As I pace back and forth on the grass, I feel someone tap on my shoulder from behind. I turn around thinking that it would be Crabbe and Goyle or Pansy looking for me to go back down to the common room, but instead, I am taken aback by pair of soft lips on mine. I knew it wasn't Pansy from the moment she touched me; I never felt that when I kissed her. She was always abrasive, never this gentle, never so sweet-tasting. I freeze for a second before softening into it, placing a hand on the nape of her neck, knitting my fingers into her hair. Without thinking, I kiss her back, almost thinking that it wasn't real, that I was just imagining things. She gently sucks in my bottom lip, causing me to release a soft moan into her mouth. I pull her closer, needing to feel her body against mine.

When we part, I see Katherine standing before me, her cinnamon eyes glistening in the golden light. She bites her lip before speaking. She places her hand on my cheek, smiling guiltily. Her thumb strokes my jaw, sending chills down my spine. "I fancy you, Draco. That's the problem." She says nonchalantly before walking away, leaving me absolutely speechless.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Chapter Ten**

As I sit down at the empty desk, Ron places his books next to me with a slam and a scowl. "Why are you so giddy?" He asks, referring to smile I can't seem to wipe off of my face. It seems to be a combination of nerves and happiness. I'm not sure what happens next regarding Draco. I shrug, replying simply, "I just have a good feeling about today." Harry raises his eyebrows before saying, "You have a good feeling about Professor Binns' lecture? Merlin, you really are turning into Hermione." He shakes his head at the thought. "I never thought I'd see the day." Ron replies. I roll my eyes, "Yeah, right." I say, causing Ron to erupt with laughter.

A tall blond-haired figure sits down on my other side, causing me to suppress a larger smile. He says nothing, only pulling his books out of his rucksack and shuffling through some parchment. I hold back a breath, looking at him through my peripheral vision. I haven't seen Draco since last night when I kissed him in the courtyard. It took all the Gryffindor courage I had to go up and kiss him, to tell him that I fancy him. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, taking the biggest and dangerous chance I've ever taken. Harry shoots him a glare as sharp as a dagger as he walks back to his seat. "See you later guys." He says blandly, his eyes still on Malfoy, who responds with a hateful look back, neither of them breaking eye contact until Harry was out of view.

I practically hold my breath before speaking. "Hey." I say breathlessly, keeping my eyes on the desk, as not to be suspicious. I look over at Ron, who's doodling with his quill, not paying attention. "Hi." He says back, his eyes not so much as shifting to look at me. I can see him smirking a bit out of the corner of my eye. I elbow him lightly, "Cut it out." He shakes his head, just barely enough for me to see. "I can't help it." He whispers, his breath warm on my neck. It sends shivers down my spine, which thankfully, no one noticed. I bite my lip, pushing him away from under the table. I shake my head again, feeling my face flush with heat, making my cheeks turn red. "You are so hot for me." He says so quietly I almost don't hear him. "Get off of your high horse, Malfoy." I whisper back, holding back quite a smirk.

Professor Binns begins his monotone lecture, forcing me to take notes on the magical historical event of the day. As the lesson goes on, I can feel Malfoy's eyes on me, staring. I turn my head slightly to look and him and mouth, 'stop it' before looking back down at my parchment immediately, continuing to take notes. He doesn't stop, but instead moves his right hand to touch my left one, intertwining our fingers in my lap. I move my gaze slowly to meet his, squeezing his hand softly, reassuring him that I do fancy him. The smirk returns to his face, although he tries to fight it, the right side of his mouth quirking up slightly. Draco licks his lips, but then returns to writing his notes, his hand still entwined with mine. I've never been so thankful that Ron falls asleep in class. If he saw what was going on inches from him, he would go into a fit of rage, hexing Draco to oblivion.

When the lesson ends, I begrudgingly let go of his hand before standing up and following behind Harry, Ron and Hermione. Before I can realize what's happening, someone grabs my arm and pulls me into a broom cupboard, closing the door quickly, but carefully. "Lumos." I say, holding my wand out, so that I could see who it was. Not to any sort of surprise, it's Draco, wearing his trademark smirk. My back is against the wall and he's standing so close to me that I can smell mint on his breath. He places a kiss softly on my lips, causing me to smile. "Draco, what are we doing in here?" I ask, biting my lip. He shrugs smiling, "I just wanted to see you." I smile wide, holding his hand in mine. "And I wanted to tell you, in case it wasn't completely obvious, that I fancy you too." He says, nonchalantly, as I had told him.

He leans down and kisses me, only for me to break it off. "What are we doing?" I ask, not sure if it was to him or myself. I furrow my eyebrows, looking down at my feet. His hand caresses my cheek before answering, "I don't know, but I know that I like you and you like me…" He trails off, raising his eyebrows at me. I stare at him for a moment, hesitating on my response. "If we want this to work, we can't tell anyone, not a single soul. We have to be so careful; I'm walking on thin ice by just talking to you, let alone snogging you." I say, looking directly into his eyes. He nods, understanding exactly what I'm saying. "I won't tell anyone. Not a word of it." He whispers. "So I guess we're…" I hesitate to say the word, but Draco says it carefully, "Together? I guess so." He chuckles, brushing his hand through his hair, looking down at his feet. "Wow." I say, not realizing I said it out loud until he speaks. "What is it?" He asks, looking almost worried. My eyes go wide for a second, but then return to normal. "It's just that… I never would have thought that you… and I–." He nods, cutting me off by pulling me into an embrace.

I know that I shouldn't be in here, that I shouldn't even be talking to him, liking him, let alone kissing him, but I can't help it. I can't seem to stay away, so I might as well give in. There's no use in fighting it. I take in his scent, a familiar combination of cinnamon and peppermint. I recall it as the way that amortentia smelt to me on that day in Potions, confirming my strong attraction my strong attraction to Malfoy. Just thinking about it sounds crazy.

His breathing steadies as he hugs me, my head on his chest. His chin rests on the top of my head, filling me with warmth. I never thought I would be standing in a broom cupboard alone with Draco Malfoy holding me close to him. It's still all a bit mind-boggling to be honest. This is not going to be easy, but nothing ever is, so why not have a little fun.

I let go of him before stating, "I have to go get to class." He nods, looking a bit disappointed. "Me too." He says, his grey eyes warmly looking into my brown ones. "My friends are going to get suspicious." I say, remembering that I left them in the corridor with no warning of my absence. I stand on my tiptoes and give him a peck on the lips, wanting to keep my lips on his forever. "Goodbye Malfoy. I'll see you at the greenhouses after lessons." I say, walking out of the cupboard and into the empty corridor, where I practically run to herbology after checking to make sure no one was looking.

I stand by the greenhouses, waiting for Draco as the snow falls, gathering on the grass. He's a bit late, but I didn't really give him an exact time, so I wait anyway, clutching to my bag as if it was my life force. I shiver with each snowflake that falls. I bite my lip, starting to get worried that he stood me up. As I think of it, my heart sinks, feeling stupid and embarrassed. How could I be so thick? I shouldn't be surprised; this is Draco Malfoy we're talking about.

As I'm about to accept defeat and go back to the common room, I see a pair of storm grey eyes approaching me. He looks just as he did this morning, but there's something a bit different about his face. He smiles before saying, "Hey." I cross my arms at him, looking down at the ground. "I'm sorry I'm late. I got caught up." He says, his smile fading when he sees how hurt I am. "I waited here in the freezing cold for an hour and you didn't bother to show up!" I yell, feeling my face get hot with anger, which is a change from feeling almost frostbitten.

"Creswell, I'm sorry. I got caught up. I'm here now." He says kindly, moving closer to me. "It won't happen again." He whispers, wrapping his arms around me, kissing my forehead gently. "I'm sorry." He repeats. As soon as he touches me, the anger fades away, pushing it to the back of my mind. "I thought you weren't coming. I thought you were ditching me." I said quietly into his chest, causing him to pull me in closer. I don't know how he does it, but he seems to make it all go away with a single touch, everything fades away. "I would never do that to you." He says, wiping a snowflake off of my cheek.

We move into the greenhouse as it begins to snow harder. It feels immediately warmer as we close the door. Draco laughs as I shake the snowflakes out of my hair. I reach over to his face, wiping a single flake from his brow. His nose is pink from the cold, matching my reddened cheeks. I gaze into his eyes for a moment, my hand on the back of his neck. I pull him towards me, kissing him deeply, my heart pulling towards him. In that moment, I don't want it to end; I want to just keep kissing him forever.

We sit on the cold stone floor of the greenhouse and begin to work on the essay once more. We get a lot of it done, as we work together quite efficiently. Malfoy's a lot smarter than he lets on, sometimes he even knew things that I didn't. I admired his intelligence, but can't help but wonder why he'd try to hide it by hanging out with Crabbe and Goyle and acting like such an arse.

"I wish that we could stay here forever." I say, kind of thinking out loud. We lay side by side on the floor, holding hands. I turn my head to the side to face him. "On the freezing floor of a greenhouse in the middle of a snowstorm doing homework?" Draco asks almost sarcastically, a smirk playing at his lips. I roll my eyes, kicking his foot lightly. "You know what I mean." I hesitate, contemplating how to phrase my next words without sounding strange. "Away from everyone, away from the world. Away from responsibility, away from the pain, the war, everything. I wish we could stay here, away from it all, removed from the stupidity that is our society. I wish we could just stay here and that it would all be okay. We wouldn't have to be careful; we could just be us and it would easy and simple." I say, staring into his endless eyes. "I just wish everything in this world wasn't so complicated." I breathe out. "It doesn't specifically have to be here, but somewhere." I add.

I look away from him, instead looking at the ceiling, embarrassed to look at him. He turns onto his side before saying, "Maybe one day, we'll have someplace like that. A place where you can be you, I can be me and we could be together without others turning their noses up at us. It'll be our place and we'll never have to leave, but for now, we have deal with this world head on. For now, being with you is enough; I don't care who have to hide it from. Just living is enough." Draco says, causing my eyes to flick back to meet his. I give him a weak smile, squeezing his hand.

We lie there on the floor until the snow dies down, forcing us to leave our happy place. I hold his hand as we trudge through the snow back to the castle. "It's not too late to go back." He says, notioning back to the greenhouse. I shake my head. "No, you were right. We have to go back. These stolen moments will hopefully be worth it in the end, but for now, it's all we have." I reply. He gives me a melancholy smile, as if to say, 'it's good enough'.

I walk with him through the empty corridors to dimly lit one around the corner from the Slytherin common room. He kisses me gently, my fingers lightly tracing his defined jaw. "I wish I could take you to Slughorn's Christmas party in a few weeks, but I know… It's too public." I sigh, giving him a small pout. He places a strand of my hair behind my ear before saying, "Well that stout git didn't think I was worthy enough for an invitation. Not that I wanted to be invited in the first place." His pale cheeks almost gained a bit of pink in them and his eyebrows furrowed. He looked almost offended, even if he was trying not to be. I laugh a little, biting my tongue. "What are you laughing at?" He says, elbowing me playfully. "Nothing, you're just cute when you get flustered." I whisper, smiling profusely. "I am not flustered. I honestly don't give a damn what Horace Slughorn thinks about me." He says, keeping attitude in his voice, but the flush hasn't faded from his cheeks. "Whatever you say, Draco." I reply, chuckling still.

I run my hand through the soft platinum hair at the nape of his neck as he pulls me in to kiss me one last time. He presses his forehead against mine afterwards, so that I could look directly into his light grey eyes. I lick my lips, relishing in the taste of him before speaking, "Goodnight Draco." I breathe out. He bites his lip for a moment before responding, "Goodnight Kat." He pulls away, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear. I nod at him in goodbye, giving him one last look before turning on my heels. I walk away, my heart feeling high in my chest as he spoke my nickname, a smile tugging at my lips.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Chapter Eleven**

I look at myself in the mirror from about every angle, studying the way my dress fits me. "You look great, Kat. I don't why you think you look so horrible." Hermione says, applying the last bit of her makeup. "Easy for you to say. You look stunning, Hermione." I reply. She was wearing a pink v-necked dress that perfectly complimented her skin tone, highlighting the figure that she rarely let show. I was wearing a ruby red dress with a plunging neckline that flared out a bit and ended mid-thigh. I've straightened my hair using a spell and put on a bolder makeup look than I usually go with, completed with a red lip. I sigh, giving up on myself, sitting down on the bed to put on my heels.

Tonight was the night of Slughorn's Christmas party and I was to go with Harry as friends. Neither of us had a date, being that I couldn't take Draco, as much as I wanted to, and him not having anyone else to go with, so we decided it would be best if we went together. Hermione, on the other hand, wanting to make Ron jealous, decided it would be in her best interest to go with Cormac, who absolutely repulses her, so best of luck to her. I wouldn't go out with Cormac McLaggen if someone paid me.

"All right," I say, standing back up, my eyes drawing back to the mirror. "I'm going to go meet Harry downstairs." Hermione nods, walking out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. "I'll see you there. I'm meant to walk down with…" She makes a sour face, as if she'd eaten a vomit flavored Bertie Botts bean. "Cormac." She forces the word out, making it seem as if it were poisonous. I laugh, causing her to blush. "Have fun, then." I say, walking out of the room, gazing slightly at the mirror as I do.

I walk slowly down the stairs to Harry, careful not to trip in my high-heels. Harry chuckles as I clutch at the railing. "That clumsy, are you?" He asks, laughing a bit. I roll my eyes. "Shut up." He playfully hits my arm, smiling. He's wearing newly pressed dress robes and his hair is combed over. "Well, you look gorgeous." He says, his mouth gaping a bit in surprise. "Always the tone of surprise." I say, holding back a smile. "You don't look too bad, yourself." I add. "These old things?" He says, looking down at his robes in a way that makes me laugh.

We journey through the castle, finding our way down to the part of the dungeon at which the party is. At one point, I almost trip, causing Harry to put his hand around my waist to steady me. Normally, I wouldn't have even given it a second thought, but at that same moment, we passed Draco. His jaw clenched slightly as he caught sight of Harry's hand, although he tried to hide it. I meet my gaze to his, giving him a look to say that it's okay and it means nothing. He unclenched, licking his lips, a smirk playing at his mouth. He was dressed as he usually was, all in black, his hair slicked back, but slightly messy. He still looked tense as his eyes trailed my body. I gave him the smallest smile, one small enough that Harry wouldn't notice, but I know that Draco did, as his eyes sparkled as they met mine.

We find the designated corridor, which was quite easy, given that it's decorated for Christmas with all sorts of ornate decorations. The moment we open the curtain to join the party, Slughorn pulls Harry in by the shoulder to talk to him. Slughorn's obsession with him is becoming a bit old. I know Harry's just acting by Dumbledore's orders and 'getting to know him', but Slughorn seems to be pushing boundaries. I look around for Hermione, but she's nowhere to be found.

Before I look too bewildered, I find a familiar face, dressed in a white uniform, holding a platter filled with champagne. "Oh, hello Neville." I say, giving him a wide smile. I seemed to have scared him, as his drinks almost fell out of his arm. "Oh! Hey Kat!" He says, spinning around to see me. "You look amazing." He says, looking me up and down. I feel my face warm as I give him a polite smile. "Thanks." I pause before continuing. "May I ask why you're serving drinks?" I ask. "I guess Slughorn doesn't find me all that interesting because I wasn't invited back to the Slug Club." I open my mouth to speak, to apologize, but he continues, speaking in a rushing manner. "It's alright though. I'm not the only one. He's got Belby handing out towels in the loo." He smiles still, gesturing towards the toilets. "I'm sorry Neville. I think you're very interesting, definitely more interesting than he is." I say, talking about Slughorn, remembering the first dinner party. "Well, yes. Most of us are." He says, laughing. His eyes break contact for a moment, looking at someone in the distance, probably Slughorn. "I'm sorry; I'm being rude. Would you like one?" He asks as he hands one off to me. "Thank you, Neville." I say. He looks a bit flustered, worried almost that he isn't doing enough. I go to continue speaking, but before I can get a word out, someone taps him on the back, beckoning him.

I wander over to the corner, sipping my champagne. I stand alone, unable to find Harry or Hermione. Suddenly, a hand grabs my shoulder, pulling me backwards forcefully, causing me to almost spill my drink. When I can see what's going on, I see Hermione standing to my left with a worried look. "Blimey, Hermione." I whisper, gaping at her as I step backwards, steadying myself. "Watch out Katherine!" Harry says in a loud whisper as I step on his foot. I put my hand on his shoulder before saying, "Oops, sorry Harry."

"What are we even doing back here?" I ask, raising my eyebrows. "Hermione's escaped Cormac." Harry says, carrying an amused look on his face. I let out a laugh, biting my lip to force back a larger smile. "He's absolutely revolting. I've left him under the mistletoe with his lips puckered." She says, contorting her face to look disgusted. Harry laughs abruptly as Hermione shutters. "Oh, shut up Harry." She says, narrowing her eyes at him. I know she's trying to make Ron jealous, but he's too busy kissing his cow of a girlfriend to even notice.

"He has absolutely no manners; he makes Grawp look like a gentleman." Hermione says irritably, her eyes peering around to get a glimpse of where Cormac was. "I figured as much. Just look at him; his over-confident smile and the arrogant way he carries himself make me want cringe." I say, chuckling a bit. "Sounds like someone else we know." Harry breathes out, referring to Malfoy. Hermione looks at me to see my reaction. I clench my fist, digging my nails hard into my palm to prevent myself from doing anything stupid, causing me to break the skin, an old habit of mine. He may be arrogant, but he's not Cormac. Arrogance is all Cormac has; at least Draco has a personality underneath.

As I let out a staggered breath, Hermione grabs my arm and whispers, "Shit, he's coming." She pulls us out from behind the curtain to the left, bringing us behind Professor Trelawney, who seemed to be quite drunk. Hermione slouches, making herself small behind Trelawney's large and strange outfit. She tucks her hair behind her ear, biting her already short nails in worry. I hand her my glass of champagne, still mostly full, saying, "You definitely need this more than I do." I let out a chuckle as she downs the whole glass in one swift swallow. "Thanks." She says, letting out a small hiccup as she continues looking around frantically for any sign of Cormac.

My gaze trails, as well as everyone else's, to Filch, who seemed to be dragging someone forcefully by the arm into the center of the room. I felt my heart stop as I saw the unmistakable eyes of Draco Malfoy come into view, making a flicker of eye contact. "Get off of me, you filthy squib!" He yelled, his voice boisterous with a sense of superiority. Filch ignored Draco's demand, and instead reports directly to Professor Slughorn, who had been previously speaking to Gwenog Jones, captain of the Hollyhead Harpies. "I found this one lurking in an upstairs corridor." He says, causing everyone to give him their undivided attention as not a single person spoke or moved, all of them staring at Draco.

His hair looked sweaty and out of place, locks of platinum blonde swept across his forehead, covering his left eye a bit. "When I asked him why he was out of bed, he 'claimed' to have been invited to your party–." Before Filch could finish what he was saying, Draco interrupted, his pale face turning an almost light pink. "Fine! I was gatecrashing!" He reveals, hollering for all to hear. His eyes find mine as I feel my heart sink. He looks away from me quickly and back to Slughorn, almost ashamed. I couldn't go to him, defend him as I wanted, although I don't even know what he was doing. Of course I know that as much as he denies it, Draco did want to be a part of the Slug Club even if it was an absolute bore leading me to believe that he could be telling the truth, but something in his eyes was convincing me otherwise. There was almost a flicker of fear within them, as if he had been doing something other than trying to sneak into a party he wasn't invited to.

Slughorn quietly speaks to Draco, an understanding look upon his face, causing a flash of anger and disappointment from Filch, who probably wanted to personally punish Draco, judging by the look on his face. He he gives a dashing smile to Slughorn, shaking his hand and giving him a look I've seen him give Snape many times in the past as he kissed his arse. Despite not being punished, Draco still looks a bit frazzled, excusing himself away from the party and into the corridor. "I'll be right back, Hermione. I'm just going to use the lavatory." I say, my eyes remaining upon Draco as he exits. I can feel Hermione watching me as I walk out, judging the decision I was making.

I follow him out and around the corner into the corridor before grabbing his shoulder. "You shouldn't be out here." He whispers, his face plagued with worry. I shake my head, dismissing his statement with a simple embrace. I brush his hair out of his eye with my hand, leaving it on his cheek for a moment before releasing him. "Why were you out of bed, Draco?" I ask almost silently, causing him to bite his lip. He pulls a smirk on his face, replying, "You look beautiful, just so you know." He changes the subject, putting his hands on my waist, pulling me in for a kiss. I put my finger on his lips, "Draco." I say seriously, looking deep into his eyes. "I was looking for Professor Snape. I had to ask him something." He says, running his hand through my hair, breaking our eye contact. I nod, still feeling as if he's keeping something from me.

He kisses me, removing any sense of doubt in my mind. "You do look gorgeous by the way." He says, going in to kiss my neck."Absolutely stunning." he whispers, his breath hot. I stop him, backing away slightly, a smirk on my face. "You ought to get that lipstick off of your face before someone notices, Malfoy." I say, laughing a bit at his lips which are stained a light red color. He wipes them hard with his hand, removing all trace. He goes in to kiss my neck one more time before I stop him again, watching him practically squirm. "Not here." I say, shaking my head, to which he fake pouts. "I'll see you round, okay?" I ask, a smirk tugging at my lips. He gives me a fake angry look, "All right, Creswell. Game on." He says, as I walk away, swaying my hips with confidence that he's watching me.

I walk into the lavatory on the way back, washing the four nail marks on my hand from earlier, watching the blood swirl down the drain. It burns as the water comes into contact with them. I sigh, wishing I had dittany to prevent scarring. I fix my lipstick, replenishing the parts where it's worn from Draco's kiss. I stall for as long as possible, not wanting to go back, but eventually I force myself out and into the corridor.

I return back to the party, looking for Hermione, who turned out to be trapped with Cormac once more. She shot me a glare, mouthing that it was all my fault that he came back. I rolled my eyes, looking for Harry, who also seemed to be missing again, but I suppose he went off with that man who said he wanted to write Harry's biography.

I stood alone as I waited for anyone to show themselves, trying not to look awkward. "Hey," Harry says, appearing out of nowhere. "Merlin!" I say, practically jumping into the air. "Sorry, I was using the cloak." He says, looking around. "Where's Hermione?" He adds, to which I point over to where she stands, watching us with longing. He laughs, but I interject, "Why were you using the cloak?" He pulls me behind the curtain again before whispering, "I followed Snape who followed Malfoy." I look at him, feeling my heart pound in my chest. Did he see us?

"Harry, for the last time–." I say, but he cuts me off before I have the chance to finish. "They were talking about Draco being chosen for something, that he had to be more careful in completing it because Snape had made the Unbreakable Vow to keep him safe. I suspect that they were talking about Katie Bell. Snape said that Malfoy had been practicing occlumency." He says in a hushed, but crazed voice. I furrow my eyebrows. "What's wrong?" Harry asks, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Are you sure he said Unbreakable Vow?" I ask, trying to work sense into what Harry had told me. He nods, "Yeah, why?" I shake my head, taking a breath before speaking. "Well, you can't break an Unbreakable Vow." I say, my eyebrows furrowed into a line. "I worked that out for myself funnily enough." Harry deadpans, causing me to smack the back of his head. "Ow!" He says. I pretend I don't hear him and continue talking, "I dunno. It doesn't seem right to me, an Unbreakable Vow."

Harry rolls his eyes at me, "Of course it's not right! What kind of Death Eater mission is right?" He asks matter-o-factly. He pauses, his face changing a bit. "What happens if you break an Unbreakable Vow?" He asks. I exhale in a sigh, "You die." I whisper grimly, sobering Harry's expression.

My parents made the Unbreakable Vow with Harry's to keep their hiding place a secret. Lily and James trusted my parents, but in that time, they needed to ensure their safety, so they made the Vow. Not once did my parents betray them, not even when my father was being tortured within an inch of his death. He was an honorable man in that way. When Lily and James died on All Hallows Eve, their vow became void, meaning just empty words, meaning nothing.

"I don't know why you, Ron and Hermione refuse to believe that that wanker is a Death Eater. The evidence is right there in front of you. The Unbreakable Vow, Borgin and Burke, his disappearing off the map, Katie's cursing; it all makes sense." I shake my head at him, refusing to believe what he is saying to be true. Draco was not a Death Eater; he couldn't be. "You're mental, Harry. What would Voldemort want with the daft Draco Malfoy. He's only sixteen." I say, not really meaning that Draco's daft. Harry rolls his eyes at me, looking a bit annoyed actually. "Whatever. I'll tell Hermione about it tomorrow. I wouldn't want to steal her away from Cormac." He says, wiggling his eyebrows, causing me to laugh.

"Do you want to go back to the dormitories?" I ask, yawning. "Sure." He says, nodding. We politely say goodbye to Slughorn informing him of how lovely the party was, although it was quite boring. I take off my heels as we exit the party, my feet aching from spending the night on my feet. The cold stone floor feels good against my feet, relieving them of their pain. Harry and I run through the corridor, chasing each other as if we were second years without a single care in the world. We laugh together, forgetting about Draco and unbreakable vow for a moment, forgetting about the war taking place just outside the gates and the prophecy declaring that Harry was to be the 'Chosen One'. We forget about Sirius and the ever worsening state of my father. We forget about Voldemort and the burning lightning-shaped scar on his forehead. We forget and allow ourselves to be children for a moment and it feels great.


End file.
